Wednesday, August 6, 2008

epifanatical is born

Welcome peepz to a fresh new post on a fresh kool Tuesday Sydney morning.. well its reflection time yet again for me.. except this time round i will be delving a lil deeper inside.. the past weeks events have compelled me to rethink about certain aspects of my life and take heed of advise given a lil more seriously.. too much of wanting the cake and eating it too has eventually caught up with me.. not thinking but just doing.. and has forced me to re-evaluate my life..

thats the problem when you work almost full time online.. you try so hard to make your presence felt .. spending long hours doing this and that.. optimising.. reading.. joining.. writing content.. joining discussions.. commenting.. checking stats.. improving.. following.. learning.. its all too easy to get carried away.. and when you see the results start to increase usually your there even more making sure they stay that way.. but in the end is it really worth it?..

I dont say this because ive lost my momentum.. no far from it.. i say this as a wake up call.. to work smarter not harder.. something i knew about but didnt quite know how to grasp.. my fierce determination is what has kept me busy for over 2 years now.. the past year and a bit has been a very bumpy road.. but it has taught me things... meeting some wonderful inspiring people along the way and learning heaps.. im not yet a self made millionaire.. but i enjoy what ive been doing up till now.. ive written erotica .. personal blurbs.. poetry.. self help blogs.. recorded audios.. made videos.. promoted stuff for others.. been mentored by a few fantastic teachers who have become good buddies.. and continue to learn from them.. made some close friendships at a few social networking sites that ive kept in touch with.. learnt the importance of growing your list.. and heaps of other things too numerous to mention here.. but again i go back to my question.. in the end is it really worth it?..

at the end of the day what are we really chasing?.. is it the freedom to work from home?... the dollars?.. to enjoy what you do?.. get others to see you as an expert in your field?.. gain the trust and respect of others?.. or perhaps a combo of all ??.. i think its safe to say a combo of all .. lets examine each one a lil closer.. firstly freedom to work from home.. yeah right.. before I was doing work online I was receptioning in a body massage center.. i worked around 7 hours per day 4 days per week.. thats a total of 28 hours per week.. i was making more money working away from home than in it.. plus i had time for other fun activities.. i was more social.. meeting different people everyday.. talking to them one on one.. and enjoying myself.. i had stability in my life.. i knew i had to be at work at a certain time each day and finish at a certain time.. i made an effort to dress the part and look nice.. and people noticed me.. when i compare that to working online.. its kinda lonely in comparison.. routine is shot to pieces.. spending long hours working.. getting up whenever the fuck i want.. the dag factor ruling supreme.. chatting to a screen.. not able to see and feel what the other person is feeling.. even if you do end up camming its still talking to a screen isnt it?.. making everything seem so automated and robotic.. not warm and soft.. and realising some people are really not what they make out to be..

well the dollars can be lucrative.. and make it all worth while.. esp if youve got your head screwed on right and are a quick learner.. and have great contacts with great lists.. otherwise that too can be a enormous uphill struggle... esp in the first few months you get started ... i seriously didnt start to see sales comin in till i was way into being online for over a year.. despite endless promotions and putting in the time.. i guess its safe to say.. that people arent gonna trust ya with their hard earned dosh if they dont know who the fuck you are.. so making the money does come eventually.. but you gotta give it time.. time to establish yourself as a serious player.. get some good reviews behind you and get involved more.. the more your name is spread across the net the more you'll get noticed.. you just have to weigh up the pros and cons and ask yourself is it worth all the hassle?.. there are lots of other jobs that can be undertaken from home.. like photography.. babysitting.. freelance anything.. the list is endless...

enjoying what you do.. well of course.. otherwise you wouldnt be doing it now would you?... perhaps you are one of the new age of article marketers that loves to blab on about your favourite topic and make some money from it.. congrats to you.. I take my hat off to you and salute you.. I too am one of those... and have been for the past 2 years.. but hey lets all be honest.. even the best of us article writers can hit a slump.. and dry up.. we try to focus but the more we tend to do that the more we get deeper into not being productive.. and we all know of the distractions that can and do occur when working online.. i know it and been guilty of it plenty of times.. you know the scenario right?.. you check emails and spend hours following thru.. you happen to stop by myspace or you tube and a few hours are eaten up there socialising.. same with being visible @ yahoo or msn or whatever IM you use.. people seem to forever what to chat.. and being valuable contacts you dont wanna appear rude so you stop and ramble on about shit.. and a few more hours are gobbled up.. by the time it somes to getting back to work.. youve lost the initial momentum.. and it becomes a vicious cycle if you cant identify what your doing wrong.. and how to fix it.. believe me alot of newbees online like me are soooo guilty of this.. yes its so easy for distractions to occur when working online.. sometimes its hard to pinpoint exactly what they are.. coz theyre all around..

the last 2 of respect and getting others to see you as a expert.. again comes with time.. but its damn hard to trust someone you havent even met.. anyone can be anyone online.... and we've all heard of the dreaded horror stories about getting shafted up the rear end by even people whom we thought have been ok.. it scares alot of people away if theyve experienced a bad encounter.. testimonials can be paid for or faked.. you just never know.. the best advertisement and ive always said it is word of mouth.. it speaks volumes over written testis.. by miles.. a happy customer is wanting to go spread the word ... he doesnt need to be told.. and he usually comes back.. even places like ebay were havens for ripping people off.. ive been unfortuate enough to experience one.. not to mention the countless of scams we get as spam in our inboxes.. just how many novices are sucked in to genuinely sounding distressed individuals who play them well??.. sad fact of internet life but a very real one.. not everyone is cluee or able to pic a scam from the real thing.. and this is what those lowlifes prey on.. not very pretty.. but hopefully a quick lesson for those that fall victim to it..

so for me.. my epifanny has come.. my serious wake up call.. thats why im emerging as epifanatical.. ive evolved.. im being me finally.. a lil bit of everything.. but with a new mindset.. open.. responsive.. honest.. raw.. ive purchased a compact vid recorder recently as my lil life giving gift and i plan to use this to shed a vision to what i see around me.. these entries here will be a mixture of me.. blurbs.. poetry from the heart.. feel good moments.. even a lil of the norty stuff too.. i cant seem to get that outta my system.. so im embracing it closely.. just dont be shocked by it all ok.. its just my brain explosion.. lol.. the yin and yang of it all.. i gotta have an outlet for it somewhere so it might as well be here.. it prolly wont be as bad as eroticsity.. i dont wanna scare you the fuck away that fast.. but it'll be close.. only with a bit more love strewn in.. my audios will be made along these lines as well.. no more screaming orgasms folks sorry.. well maybe for me personally.. lol.... but not avail publically.. it will be much more tasteful now ..

so angelxx and miz helena and eroticsity have become = epifanatical.. i hope you enjoy getting to know her as much as I will.. strap in for the ride.. im a crazy nut.. whatever i end up doing online from now.. will be done in my own sweet time.. my private life takes first priority now.. ive negected alot of my interests away from the screen.. which im going back to.. i wanna thank everyone thats stuck by me.. some even from the beginning.. and seen me become some crazy characters.. and done some even crazier shit.. youve all been wonderful.. i hope you can stick around for the next journey.. much love to you all..

epifanatical.. because im finding out who i am.. and loving doing it..