Monday, January 5, 2009

say my name when you do that

have you noticed there are some couples that cant take their hands off each other?.. what is the driving force beneath that passion? is it being perfect? (you know tall, blonde, blue eyes, big tits? **sigh**) or is it from mastering the act of becoming more desireable? which do you think? Im guessing you prolly opted for the former right? OK well lets examine the selection you chose a lil closer..

beautiful girl, gorgeous in fact, prolly preoccupied with her outwardly perfection a great deal. Concerned with the slighest ingrown hair maybe and would he notice it? Is uptight and searching for signs that he thinks she is the most exquisite thing to walk the earth. She is focused on how she looks and whether or not he thinks shes hot! The sex ends up being less than mindblowing, and in the end both are left thinking huh? with the guy thinking the two didnt match (his visual and mental perception of her) and she "oh typical men, not appreciative of true beauty and just so selfish".. Ohhh my..

But truly peeps, is having a great sex life all about the physical? NOOOO definately not!! Its all about how you create DESIRE!!

You see girls, nothing turns a man on more than seeing his partner totally lose herself in her passion and pleasure. Forget the ingrowns! Focus on the desire! Youve prolly read those silly lil articles in some womans mag that suggest ways to turn your man on! YES?? I know I have. After reading those silly lists, what is usually the ONE thing that stood out? Apart from all the tips and tricks to keep things fresh and exciting? You know right? Yes, its talking dirty!

Lets examine the delish benefits of what talking dirty can do:

  • like i said, men like to see a woman totally lose herself in her pleasures. This tells a man she is not faking it, is genuinely turned on and knows what she wants. Which will show him new and exciting ways to please you

  • it increases communication. Some women find it hard to climax thru sex alone, so becoming verbal will be the "talk thru' to guide you. This is talking dirty at its more domesticated level.

  • one of the things men most fear is commitment. (where have I heard that one before?) and afraid that if he has to commit, he will be forced to give up his wild days of wild spontanieous sex. Talking dirty is a great way to show your guy that you enjoy sex, so he'll be less afraid to commit.

Ok these are just several of the feel good benefits, but heres the problem you know that its hot to talk filth, but noone has actually shown you how to do it. So where do you begin? and heaven forbid if youve tried it and ended up sounding and looking like you were being electricuted. LOL.. ooops!! fake fake fake..

Lets face it we are not mind readers, we want to know if what we are doing in the bedroom (or dungeon) is sexually pleasing our partner. Its an art and it starts with confidence and feeling good with ourselves and our comfort levels. Talking dirty can be learnt anywhere. On the phone, in letters or emails we write, texting, and one on one. If you are just starting out, writing down what turns you on is a good beginning. Then perhaps you can expand on that, use the imagination a lil to come up with better descriptive words that mean the same thing but just stirs the juices a bit more.

Talking dirty has its levels too as i mentioned. For beginners its always a good starting point to go with what your comfortable with. If youve always been more a teddy bear than a tiger its gonna seem a lil awkward to dive straight in and go for the no holds barred, not-for-the-faint-hearted kind of sexy talk. Think of it as a staircase. Start at the bottom. Sexy moans, body language, saying that you like what his doing, etc can be great in setting the mood and opening you up to try experimenting further. Progress to not-so-dirty talk would then be a lil easier once youve learnt to be verbal. Talk about what turns you on and what you would like him to do to you, this in turn relays that you are responsive and in control and it will drive him crazy!! fantasising and role playing are also both excellent scenarios to escape in and explore. From teacher/student to mistress/submissive, the opportunity to engage in hot words are plenty!

Then there is the top of the stairs. Not everyone is comfortable with heights, and this is the same for sex talk. However, im assuming its something your very interested in. No holds barred talking dirty involves being comfy with yourself and your partner, and if you decide this is for you then be prepared for some fireworks! I personally feel the best sex ive ever had has come from being confident and not afraid to show how turned on i am. Guys really go nuts when you are laying back, looking at them straight in the eyes, licking your lips and they hear something like "I'll be your dirty slut baby if you spank my norty butt hard" or "Feel my spasming clit baby do you like it when i cum for you?" saying these projects desire and control.. you come across as someone that knows what she wants and how to get it..

Being continually verbal can send your confidence soaring and make you even more desirable to your partner, throw your inhibitions out the window and make sex even more pleasureable and intense than ever. Couple that with sexy long lingering looks and youve mastered the art of becoming more sexually assertive and someone that is very desireable and hott!!

For the best tips on learning to talk dirty, I highly recommend this

The Ultimate Guide On How To Talk Dirty