Thursday, September 18, 2008

self esteem-what names do you call yourself?




Self esteem is a major factor that enables us to achieve a balanced and satisfying life. Our self esteem is shaped by the personality we are born with, the family environment in which we grew up, feedback from others and our own evaluation of how well we cope with life's ups and downs. Self esteem is a motivator that inspires behavior, but behavior also inspires self esteem.

Therefore there is a continuous feedback loop between the way you act, and the level of your self esteem. Self esteem takes a major hit. But self esteem is supposed to give courage to a person and belief in oneself in the most excruciating conditions of life.

Self esteem doesn’t necessarily show on the outside, but it does affect the way you live your life, your relationships, your work and your success. Self esteem is not about bragging that you are the greatest or that you are perfect. Its more like quietly knowing that your worth alot (priceless in fact!). Self esteem is the key factory for your success in anything that you do.

Self esteem means to hold oneself in high esteem, feeling worthy of a good life and good treatment by others. Self-esteem results from self-respect and respect from others.
Listening to what our inner self has to say is essential. For example, have you ever felt like you had a feeling something was the right thing to do. Listen to your opinions without always having a better or wiser answer. Help yourself to explore your own ideas. Listen to how you treat yourself - the internal conversation. How many times have you scolded yourself if you make even the most tiniest of mistakes? like "What an idiot, how can i be so stupid?". Low self-esteem makes it difficult to identify strong points but it does not mean you do not have them - only that they are unfamiliar to you because of the negative self talk and that of others you have allowed to listen to. Why are you still listening? You cant change your past but you can change the way you talk to yourself today.

Instead of saying, "I never do anything right" you could say "I have done many things right.".You could even make a list of things you have done right. It helps to do this work in a special notebook or journal. Instead of dwelling on the bump on your nose, recognize your fine sense of humor, your lovely complexion, the good relationship you have with your spouse. Focus on your accomplishments.

Parents provide the earliest influence on children. By modeling leadership in their own lives, parents profoundly affect the kind of leaders their children become. Parental practice, for one, is a major factor especially to the growing child. How our parents treat us will determine how we treat ourselves when we grow up and how we let other people treat us.

Individuals with low self-esteem will often begin the day feeling negative, worthless and possibly ugly. This builds during the day, as actions and comments from others appear to validate these feelings, perpetuating the cycle of negativity, frustration and anger. Individuals are not likely to change their behavior unless they first change how they see themselves. If a child accepts the position that s/he doesnt have the capability to succeed in school, chances of academic success are obviously diminished, regardless of intellectual ability. Individuals with truly high self esteem feel good about themselves and continue believing in themselves regardless of what others think of them. Some people feel good about themselves only as long as others support them and approve of them.

Self esteem is how a person perceives his or herself. There are various factors that a person should have a positive attitude about including the value he or she gives to him or herself as a human being, his or her career and his or her achievements in order to develop a high self esteem. Self esteem is one of the dimensions of mental health of a person. Poor self-esteem is said to be one of the effects of depression.

Self-esteem is one of the most crucial elements in our anti-stress armour. It influences attitude, which in turn affects our reactions to stress. Self-esteem is based on our knowing about . Self-esteem is essential to our ability to function in a healthy way. Without the foundation of a solid sense of self, we are unable to take the risks and make the decisions necessary to lead a fulfilling, productive life.

Media also plays a big part in ones self judgement. If your definition of being socially accepted consists of being 5'10', blonde, skinny, full perky breasts or the male equivalent of 6'5', broad shoulders, 6 pack abs, perfect killer smile and tight buns, how do you feel you measure up? More and more people are feeling the effects of fear based media. Companies that use these tactics, feed low self esteem and teach unreachable idealism, creating a society which is unsatisfied with itself and one obsessed with outer perfection.

Placing primary importance on our outer appearance is valuing the consequence over the origin, in other words appreciating the wrapping more than the gift. Exterior emphasis denies the whole, the absolute, the soul and our uniqueness, creating feelings of fear, anger, jealousy, self hatred, judgments of inferiority and superiority, worthiness and worthlessness, depression, eating disorders, competition, entrapment, and quiet desperation. But we can learn to get back to love. We do possess self love, in varying amounts and we see signs of this whenever we are critisised and berated. I mean how many times have you leapt to your defence either outwardly or internally when someone has tried to put you down? Where does this inner voice spring from? We need more of that inner voice to stand up and say YES! we are worthy and do matter. Take the time today to look at yourself. Noone is perfect. Learn to accept the fact that its Ok to be less than perfect. Start with you. Love everything you do and learn to laugh at yourself and life. Take care of your health, eat right, exercise, smile more, respect yourself and learn to say NO.

Celebrate your strengths and achievements no matter how small or large. Having healthy self esteem does not mean feeling perfect. It is just not being continually plagued by self doubt. I wish you success!!














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