Sunday, September 28, 2008

would you choose water over wine?

Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear
Take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before
And it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal
But lately I am beginning to find that I
Should be the one behind the wheel

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes

So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive
Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive?
It's driven me before
And it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around
But lately I'm beginning to find that
When I drive myself my light is found

So whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes

Would you choose water over wine
Hold the wheel and drive?

- Drive by Incubus

Would you kill the Queen to crush the hive?

These lyrics have been swimming around in my head today as I sit and reflect upon, well, my whole life in general. Would I choose water over wine? Do I follow or deviate? Frankly, I think to myself, how many times have I allowed the influence of the collective to control me, consume me, creating someone im not deep down, long enough to feel disgruntled? Everyone has their bad days, including me! Heck, I can have bad weeks! I‘ll move forward, backward, side to side and get stuck in the mud along my journey. The hive “the collective“ our sick society have set the standards. Do I conform, or detour and take control of my own destiny? There are questions, and the fact of the matter remains, there is only one question truly, “Who thinks they can do what you do better than you?” The only person who can do what I do is me.

I ponder about what I have chosen

On the surface, its so easy to choose to run with the herd, to feel normal. I keep thinking about that. I want so desperately to say ive chosen the herd, because I want to feel an accepted part of society. I keep reminding myself that the powers of this world are always going to be testing me because of that choice. When I break it down, I say to myself but accepted by whom? Theres a whole world out there in the same predicament as me. Someone else that longs to fit in, are controlled by fear and be someone theyre not. A world that has different perceptions. Without clear definitions, constants. Why do I allow fear to drive me?

Nothing in life is constant. Our choices are half chances. Sometimes im on a high, life is great, I feel like ive conquered Mt Everest on some days, I peak, then I can equally fall flat and feel depressed over the tiniest of issues. I challenge myself to feel. Take the good with the worst, and learn from the experience. Only then do I find my personal growth moves forward, but hey, that’s life right? Joy, love, pain, loss Ive had my fair share through out my journey. Even in times of adversity, after the tears have dried up, and love and strength have prevailed, I have learnt to use the knowledge of that suffering in a more positive way to canvas achievement, become more benevolent and be reflective of my emotions.

So what price do we pay to try and conform? A life that is dictated from the minute we are able to walk to the day we die? Creating fear, labels, classes. Causing stress, depression, disease, and family disintegration and fragmentation. Fear doesn’t respect anything, including itself. You cannot make your own choices. Fear keeps us in a constant state of control. “Poor me, im not intelligent enough, im not attractive enough, im not strong enough, im different to everybody else” Self pity, anger, jealousy, resentment are controlled by fear and fear controls self pity, anger, jealousy and resentment. With fear, there is no justice. We make ourselves pay a thousand times for our suffering.

Stop trying to let fear control your life, stop trying to influence what you cannot control. Stop knocking your head against a brick wall. Take a risk, deviate! Take the wheel and drive! Make your own way, don’t follow in the footprints of others only because of that’s what is expected of you. When you take life head on, you face your adversaries. Focus on what you truly want, stay true to yourself, respect yourself, and your fear slowly dissolves away. Life becomes more simple for you. Time to find yourself, time to love everything you do and how you do it and take some risks. Live your life for you and not others. Walk a higher path and hold your own.

They say the only 2 constants in life are death and taxes. Everything else is open to uncertainties, and hey, shit happens. We cannot control that. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone has their off days, and everyone at some time in their life wishes they had done things differently or better. Let your light shine. If you do your best, you cannot ask for more than that. Imagine you are an actor in a play. Your aim is to play the part to the best of your ability. So whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there with open arms and open eyes.

For great further reading I highly recommend:

Everything For Your Intuition: How To Access, Strengthen And Utilize It. The Tools And Information You Need To Succeed And Improve Your Life Now!

Manifesting A Joyful Life. Learn To Create The Life You Want By Creating Consciously!