Sunday, October 12, 2008

5 virtues for a successful relationship

Five Virtues You Need for a Successful Relationship

He who wants to do good knocks at the gate; he who loves finds the door open.
Rabrindranath Tagore

Do you ever wonder how couples that reach their 50th wedding anniversary made it through the thick and thin all those years?Most people are envious of those who can make their relationships last half as long, but those who are in happy and successful relationships will often tell you it is not all that much work.


Because chances are that both individuals in the relationship have strong values, and virtues that exist in harmony with the other person. There are many ingredients that make a successful relationship and marriage, but there are some that are absolute musts if there is any hope of a long-term commitment. Without the five virtues listed below, existing in harmony with the other will be next to impossible. Ask any divorcee, and I’m sure they’ll tell you that the reason their relationship didn’t work out was due to lack of one of the following:

Respect for the other person and for yourself. If you cannot respect yourself, you cannot fully respect others. Respect means appreciating the other person, even when you may not fully agree with their decisions and actions.

It doesn’t mean ignoring your own values, but yet allowing the others values to co-exist alongside yours.Respect is the number one key to being able to remain life-long friends as well as lovers.

Honesty between one another. Lack of honesty will shred a relationship to pieces, which goes hand-in-hand with trust. Your partner must feel that at all times you are being truthful, which also means not holding back, but being open with each other.

There may be times when the truth hurts, but sharing your thoughts and feelings in a constructive manner will only increase the other virtues in the relationship.

Trust in your partner and the relationship. If you go through life with fear, perhaps fear that your lover will leave, or fear of being hurt, you are not trusting in what you have. Being vulnerable and allowing yourself to be open to getting hurt shows the deepest level of trust you can possible show the other, and strengthens the bond between you that much more.

Loyalty to your partner and your beliefs. Just as you wouldn’t betray yourself, you should never betray your partner. This means backing the other up in life, with support, loyalty, commitment, and security.

Being there for each other and remaining loyal to the relationship is important, as each individual wants to always feel they have a partner they can rely on, in good times and bad.

Humility, or the ability to be humble. Learning to be humble is important in any relationship, whether we are talking about with your friends, parents, or even children.

Not everyone is right all of the time, and nobody is ever better than the other. By showing that you believe you and your partner are on equal ground, you are creating a safe and secure friendship for the other that will remain the basis of your relationship as it grows.
Of course there are other virtues that are important, too, such as faith, happiness, friendliness, etc., but with the above five virtues in your corner, many others will only follow along naturally.