Tuesday, February 2, 2010

why do nice girls choose bad guys?

Have you ever stopped and noticed why some of your nice girlfriends choose the guy from hell? Have you done this ? I have always wondered why some of the most nicest intelligent friends choose partners that are clearly bad news. Its not only women that fall for men who treat them badly.. perfect, gorgeous men are also suckers for women that are trouble. Below are a few reasons why I think this might occur...

1) the challenge many women are just not interested in nice guys. They find them boring, predictable and too perfect.. they enjoy a challenge, and may not admit it but find an assertive, dominant alpha male exciting and sexy. What they are attracted to in others is at times based on unresolved issues within. They become a 'crowd pleaser' who sacrifices their real persona to win approval. They may come across as fractious and end up drawing the attention of someone that bears that vigor for them.

2) early conditioning parents are the most powerful role models. How many times have you heard someone say "I never want to end up being like my parents?" yet as they get older, the more they virtually morph into them. The stronger the ties and the more they dont work upon becoming their own person, the more they can be sure that they eventually will mimic their parents. Chances are they will not even notice they are doing it. The conditioning is so congenital it seems almost normal. With the lack of personal growth, and perhaps dysfunctional social impairment, we are more likely to select a mate who is identical to one of our parents.

3) low self worth we attract like. people usually treat us in the manner we treat ourselves. The law of attraction is alive and well in how we feel about ourselves. If we have low self esteem, this will be evident everywhere. Our lifestyle, job, relationships, choice of friends, lovers. We develop a help, rescue me attitude, when we should be looking to change that behaviour. Our low self worth is responsible for being treated disrespectfully, we view the world thru the lens of our own perceptions and beliefs. If life seems depressing, thats all we see. When we change, everything and everyone around us does too. Suddenly, others start changing their behaviours.

The need for love and intimacy can lead us to make fleeting decisions when choosing a partner. Instead of getting to know each other, we now jump into bed with anyone that shows us interest. Sexual involvement brings with it a whole multitude of psychological and impulsive emotive issues that can create complications long before we really know the person we are involved with. To bring out the best in our mates, become a great mate.

For further reading I highly recommend:

admirable you There Are Many Who Struggle To Make New Friends And Suffer From Loneliness, That Is Where Admirable You Comes Into Play. A Valuable Guide To Building Self-Confidence, Believing In Yourself And Making New Friends!

increase your confidence be totally confident around women using self-hypnosis