Monday, March 30, 2009

are you sexually frustrated?

There are many manuals that attempt to teach us about how we can satisfy our partner in bed, and we've all prolly read them a hundred times over. However, the mystery still remains!

Men are from Mars and women are from Venus!

Today im taking time out to discuss the popular topic of female orgasm, which I feel even in todays modern age, is still a largely unexplored area. The reasons for this is many. Society on a whole is responsible for dictating that in bed, although we are highly sexual beings, his orgasm remains the paramount goal. Its OK if she doesnt, in fact, we are conditioned to think its not that important, that reaching one is not even an objective!

While many couples trudge on thru life and accept this, at a deeper level it can be the root of many sexual frustrations that permeate into other areas. You will prolly not even notice its happening and what the causes are. But sexual frustration is real and it can be dangerous.

Lets explore this a lil deeper. As we said, men and women are definately a breed of their own, and these differences are apparent in the bedroom. When it comes to sex, men usually are the ones that climax sooner than what we women do.

During the courtship period, alot of time is spent getting to know our partner, taking the time to learn what they enjoy and what turns them on. The sex is mindblowing coz of the genuine desire to please and satisfy! We continuously are thinking of new and exciting ways to experiment with and indulge.

After sometime together, things can grow stale. We stop trying, sex becomes almost a chore, an activity we perform out of duty. Which is kinda sad. Many times have I seen couples out on my walks.. and im quite shocked at seeing them just striding along, no conversation, no holding hands, no affection.. and I think to myself, they look so unhappy, which naturally has me thinking their sex life is definately lacking!!

Some guys can be selfish too. Like we discussed, guys do tend to reach orgasm much faster than women do and when they do its all over! They roll off and start snoring! Meanwhile the woman is slowly cursing under her breath and wondering why she even bothers! Not to mention the negative feelings she manifests associated with frustration, like "Has he gone off me?.. "Is he cheating?".. "Whats gone wrong?" Oh my does this sound familiar?

This slowly creates resentment, which in turn can lead to other behaviours such as reduced sexual intimacy, infidelity, sexual frustration, relationship withdrawl. She may seem to nag you, finding fault in everything you do, and lose interest. Pretty soon, sex is going to look a whole lot less appealing, as she turns to self pleasuring and finding she gets more pleasure masturbating. This isnt harmful in itself, there are plenty of men that get off on the thought of their partners using toys and fingers, but it does become a problem if self pleasuring is used as a permanent solution rather than trying to achieve orgasm with your lover.

Relationship Withdrawl .. when sex is constantly a disappointment, this can lead to the woman withdrawing. She avoids moments of intimacy, and the longer this goes on the further apart you will drift.

Infidelity.. Its a real possibility when your sex life is sexually frustrating. For the woman, its usually more than just seeking sexual fulfillment, it goes deeper, to a more emotional level. She wants reasurrance that shes still attractive, craves romance, wooing, and the spontaniety of a new lover that takes the time to explore and satisfy. Women are fed up with the same old routine, and if it has been allowed to go on long enough, she will feel awkward asking for things to change. Therefore, she ends up with someone else rather than trying things differently.

Resentment.. sooner or later, resentment starts to manifest itself in other areas in your relationship. She will seem always on your back for one thing or another. Men will usually pass this off as her having a bad day or "that time of the month" . Instead of taking the time to discuss these issues with her partner, her mind starts playing her, and start a whole new level of negativity circulating. This has a habit of exploding during the tiniest of situations we normally dont bat an eye to, which leads us to say things we dont mean to say.

Unfortunately, the art of communication is lost, and this is the key I believe to dealing with mismatched sex drives and sexual dyfunctions. Im speaking as a woman here, but this is two way. Both sexes can feel sexual frustration with their partner. We can re-learn the passion that drew us together in the first place. There is NO excuse why we cant. Job, kids, running a household all take time and great effort, but at the end of the day, we should all be making the time to connect and show the love. Divorces are very common these days and usually over the flimsiest of reasons, when we can avoid the situations that slowly lead up that path, but dont make the effort to. How sad.

Click the player below to listen into my audio version of Are You Sexually Frustrated?

To read more on how you can relearn ways she can achieve mindblowing bed-scorching orgasms that will have her repay you with wild sex night after night, I highly recommend:

>>>> The Female Orgasm Revealed