Wednesday, February 3, 2010

why men shut down a personal account

Hi guys.. I have been getting alot of interest on the "why men shut down" article I posted a few months ago, but im here today to expand on it a bit more.. with my very own personal account.. perhaps us women will never know the answers fully to this question.. I think that couldnt be truer after what I experienced recently.

anyways.. just a recap on the original article.. men shut down I believe for 3 main reasons:

1) he is less emotional - while we women 'freak out' he might be analysing the situation to be of less importance and doesnt know what all the fuss is about. when he sees you pressing on, his instant reaction is to clam up and avoid you.

2) he wants to do his best to avoid conflict - and his natural reaction to this is run! he cant deal with the messy consequenses, and cant handle emotions like resentment, hate and feeling like his manhood will take a battering!

3) hurting his male pride - while we woman will never understand how cold a man can seem at times.. the way he sees it is he wants to avoid any negative blow to his manhood. we are designed to take the good and not so good.. but for a man.. that can mean a demorilizing blow and would rather block these vibes out.


so when I recently wrote out an rather long email to a dear male friend outlining my reasons why I needed to take a break.. all I got in return was nothing! No response.. cold shoulder.. no idea on what his side of coin was.. he kept me in total silence.. by his reaction you would think I had murdered someone close to him.. never to be forgiven

I tried looking at it deeper.. but it was impossible for me to say for certain.. I had no feedback from him.. no reply to messages.. so I finally gave up

the way I see it (speaking of course from what I know of him and what my thoughts are) I feel:

his male ego is fragile and has taken a battering.. he is confused.. hurt.. let down.. prolly blaming himself in some small way (but never admitting it) . stubborn.. out for "you did this to me.. now watch what im going to do to you" mentality..

because of the time that has passed and he feeling bad.. he doesnt know the way to approach me now.. even if there is a shred of friendship left inside.. he doesnt know the correct way to put things on the mend.. his silence has proven this

so my final conclusions (going back to the original post) is YES.. his male pride has been hurt.. YESS he cannot handle his emotions.. YESS he may think this situation is petty (altho the fact that he has been avoiding tells me it has gotten to him otherwise he would be fine with everything) and YESS he wants to avoid a confrontation.. he cant stand to have a emotional woman in his ear telling him where things went wrong..

anyways.. I am quite saddened by his overall apathetic indifference after what I considered a great start to a great friendship.. so I have now finally let it go.. he knows my thoughts and feelings towards him.. perhaps its now up to a matter of time to let things cool off.. to start seeing things clearer

so just for laughs.. I wanna post the hillarious video below.. spoken from the mouths of the boys themselves about what it takes to keep ya man happy! you will find it very funny when he makes the very suggestion that is discussed in this article!.. well.... so it MUST BE TRUE! grrls! LMAO... enjoy!