What phrase turns your partner on more than any other?
If your sweetheart lost all inhibitions, what “naughty” act would he or she want to try? Would your beloved get turned on if you shampooed your pubic hair and then neatly trimmed it for you?
You might not know the answers to these questions but imagine if you did. How turned on would you get? There is an easy way to find out the answer to your partner’s most secretive, lustful feelings and fantasies. Ask.
Well, just coming out and asking might be….. awkward.
Just coming out of the blue and asking these potentially risky questions can actually sabotage the intimacy. I have discovered a much better way.
My friend Michael Webb (one of Oprah’s favorite relationship and intimacy experts) has come up with an incredible list of 500 Intimate Questions for Couples.
These questions are professionally designed from Michael’s 20-plus years of experience in helping couples in this area. He wisely lays out the questions in the right order so that you being in safe territory and build trust before the really deep and erotic questions come up.
I’ve heard some really powerful stories from men and women who have used these questions to not only connect deeply, but to have the hottest, passionate nights of their lives.
You can get access to the 500 questions right here:
P.S. In our personal experience and from the stories our readers have shared, asking just a few of these questions will probably build up a LOT of sexual tension. So be prepared for what will likely follow
Looking. We all look. We have eyes. Sometimes roving eyes. Does your partner gawk at others in your company? Do they give lame explanations or just shrugg it off? Does this bother you? Should it bother you?
Well, newsflash: beauty is eyeball grabbing! Im as straight as they come and even I eyeball at such beauty!! However, I have to be honest to say it was never like that in the past. My ex was a constant eye rover, whether with me or not. I never use to speak up about it, but naturally was fuming inside. The reasons why I didnt were not too appear that it "got" to me, in the hope he would sense it didnt bother me, so it would cease. But it did, and it didnt. It gave me the feeling he saw me as someone he was comfortable with instead of someone he was attracted to as sexy. I would think that I wasnt attractive enough to him, that he wanted other women, and worst of all, that he was a potential cheater. This just strengthened when he use to get the shits if I dressed in low-cut tops or great fitting jeans and he'd say to me: dont wear that, other guys might check you out!! Even when a good-looking guy caught my eye and I so much stared, he would get touchy.
If men/women consciously refrain themselves from looking, they do so as not to evoke jealousy, tears and anger from their lovers. When you pester them about it, the trouble now is that whenever you go out together, your aware that theyre trying VERY hard NOT to look at others - and that is nearly as bad as when they do. By all means, if you want to control every lil thing your mate does, then turn your relationship into a police state, but be prepared for resentment, and more secretive behaviour as they now know what ticks you off.
Fast forward a few years, now in a new relationship, I now join in!! Its impossible to control roving eyes in both male or females unless you date a legally blind person or chain them to the house. Simple. You might be ogling coz spring is in the air and suddenly theres an influx of scantilly clad bronzed bodies on display. To witness a woman in a mini skirt after drab layers of winter garb is such a refreshing sight. Your man cant help notice and im sure you cant either. I love how my boy checks out women, I dont feel threatned, in fact I point them out to him and we both indulge. Same goes for men. We women cant help looking at gorgeous solid bodies, faces, buns, legs. Ok, maybe we are a lil better at discretion, but we still ogle. Bottom line is theres a saying that goes: Dont worry where he/she gets their appetite from, just as long as they eat at home.
Did you know that one of the best ways to intensify orgasms and the overall lovemaking experience is by having prolonged foreplay?
It's true. Including "prolonged foreplay," you're about to learn three ways to add new levels of passion and excitement to your lovemaking that will bring you and your partner even closer. So here we go!
1. Prolong your foreplay
An extended period of foreplay amplifies your sexual experience because it gives you time to build up sexual anticipation. Why does this work? It's just human nature. Think about a big event in your life. Whether it be a party, a holiday, or a major movie launch, chances are that you were so excited by the buildup and buzz that it made the experience 10 times better.
Well, the same rules apply to making love. So next time you spend some time under the sheets, make a conscious effort to explore your partner’s body. Leave a trail of kisses all over their body, run your fingers along their skin and gaze lovingly into their eyes.
The more time you spend devoted to foreplay, the greater the experience for both of you. And if you want to feel the magic even more then...
2. Try new things with a "twist"
Now don’t get me wrong here, I'm not talking about JUST trying a new lovemaking position, tip, technique or even location. While these things would definitely spice things up, you can make your experience even more fulfilling, simply by using a little added creativity.
For example: Why not learn a new technique––pack a picnic and head to a beautiful park for the day. And if you find a private spot, who knows what might end up happening? :D Going on dates like these helps to bring back the magic that made you fall in love in the first place.
3. Play bedroom games
Tasteful, fun and alluring sex games are one of the best ways to intensify orgasms and the entire lovemaking experience. Not only are they extremely fun and have a lot of 'replay value,' but they actually accomplish BOTH the other tips at the same time too!
Because when you play a sex game you…
1. Automatically extend foreplay in a fun and interesting way 2. Try new things that the game tells you to do
And even while some games only consist of familiar tips and moves, you'll be using them in new scenarios, which actually makes them feel new.
Maybe you’ll use a deck of cards or dice to create your own passionate play. Perhaps you’ll adapt a sport game for the bedroom. Or maybe you’ll just want to use your bodies as the props. It doesn’t matter. Simply get excited and unleash some creativity!
So if you want to create a magical experience, remember there’s no better way than playful game that combines both prolonged foreplay and trying new things.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
About the Author:
Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the author of "100 Sex Games For Couples," a book full of ways to spice up your lovemaking, adding more passion and intimacy to your experience. To read more, visit:
According to reports, roughly 70% of women don’t reach an orgasm during intercourse. Although that figure in itself is shocking, it also makes you wonder about how many women never orgasm at all (i.e., intercourse or not)! A lot of flack fall on men on why women don’t experience an orgasm but truth be told, women have a lot to do about this as well whether they realize it or not. 6 Reasons Why Women DON’T Climax
Foreplay? What foreplay?
Foreplay is extremely important. For women, making love begins in the mind and if you don’t ‘condition’ her mind for sex, then chances are she won’t be sexually reciprocating in bed too. Furthermore, women really do need more time than men to reach an orgasm; so foreplay is actually your way of extending your own sexual stamina.
She’s thinking too much!
Women are natural multi-taskers. Unfortunately, they’re so used to thinking and doing several things at the same time that they find it hard to simply be ‘in the moment’ during sex. If most men can be very ‘in the zone’ during sex, women seem to have various thoughts running through their heads all the time (e.g., home chores that need to be done, kids’ homework, dirty laundry, etc.).
She’s full of… insecurities.
Women have many body image issues. While you may adore her, her mind is probably worried about at least three different things as you undress her: Is the light revealing any cellulite? Are my ‘love handles’ protruding? Does he think my breasts are too small/big?
If body image anxiety is not in her head, then she may be thinking about things such as “I didn’t shower yet, I hope I smell good… especially down there.”, or “I didn’t pee. I hope I don’t embarrass myself.” ALL these thoughts are making her focus on the wrong things! It’s taking attention away from sexual pleasure and into sexual insecurities. And when a woman is in this mode, it’s almost impossible to her focus on reaching her own climax! She really doesn’t know her own body.
There is a certain art form to making love to a woman’s body. It really does have a lot of mysterious curves, spots and turns. Sadly, many women don’t indulge in a lot of ‘self exploration’ when it comes to sex. As such, it’s hard to guide you on what makes her feel good or which techniques really turn her on. And really, if she doesn’t know her own body, how can you be expected to instinctively know what brings her pleasure, right?
The best thing is… it’s never too late to learn! Why don’t you BOTH explore her body? Don’t rush anything and try everything. See what turns her on best and use that knowledge to make her reach her orgasm. Make it your sexual quest!
True, men are not mind-readers. Unfortunately, many women are not great communicators in bed as well so we have a little problem here. Compounding this problem is of course that favorite female bedroom habit of ‘faking orgasms’. As a result, YOU think that what you’re doing is great when in reality you may not even be close! To solve this particular problem, try to develop a certain ‘sexual code’ between you two. For instance, a slight squeeze on your arm means “You’re doing great! Pls. keep doing it!”; while nails on your skin or arm mean “enough of that!”. You will receive more squeezes, however, if you know some important facts.
Men like to try different sexual positions and that’s great but sometimes you may be changing just a bit too fast. Women need to get accustomed to a certain ‘rhythm’ before sexual pleasure begins to climb. If you keep shifting positions, she will either (a) never find the position that brings her an orgasm, (b) lose the sexual pleasure she was experiencing in the previous position or (c) be so frustrated that even if you go back to the same position, she may not be that sexually aroused again. So keep this in mind: when it comes to female orgasm it’s not just location, location, location… it’s also about repetition, repetition, repetition. Hopefully this list of potential reasons why your partner is not reaching an orgasm paves the way for discussion between the two of you. Don’t focus on why she’s not reaching an orgasm. Instead, focus on what you guys are going to do, so that she does reach her climax. That’s a more positive approach and lot more fun too!
We all have our love formulas or expectations when finding and then meeting a partner, you know, that built in formula that has been both programmed and learnt and is hard-coded into our subconscious which is totally subjective and possibly fallacious.
Are you the needy type? do you constantly need reassurance? do you depend on others for your happiness? do you wonder where this comes from? today I will be discussing the topic of emotional dependance and understanding why we act like we do.
When we fall in love, our 'love formulas' are complete little packages that contain all the emotional behaviours and expressions that make up what we interpret as love. We are programmed to see love in a very distinct way. That, I believe is based on the programmed conception of reward and previous learnt emotional experiences. Together, we interpret these as our language of love.
Part of our love formula is the set of paradigms present in order to fall in love. This comes from our expectations of what is attractive to us, like appearance, qualities and values, and with each relationship we are involved in, a new set of 'paradigms' is created, based on the good and bad characteristics and what we want and do not want to repeat. This determines who we are drawn to, the brain starts generating the feel good endorphins and we fall in love.
Another aspect of our love formula is the set of paradigms present in order to feel loved and accepted. We crave love and others to make us happy. This I believe stems from equating love from the basis of the conception and outcome of reward. We were programmed to think reward comes from good behaviour, so as children, we try very hard to please our parents, and we develop expectations to be rewarded for that behavior, which is then construed as love. We are likely to continue this address with a partner in the hope of obtaining a similar reward.
However, everyone interprets love differently! Everyones love formula for the desire to feel loved is totally subjective. Your definative expression of love could be interpreted differently by another. Men and women are programmed in different ways when it comes to what they think is showing love. Women tend to have more emotional needs and men more practical. If these actions are not part of and programmed in our love formula then this can be rejected and lead us to think our partner doesnt care for us. To be emotionally dependant or needy and craving acceptance can be dangerous.
.. and so the plot thickens.. this creates the feeling of resentment, when we place ourselves in a position where what we think we should be rewarded with love, and are disappointed when it isnt. To be 'needy' is a sign that you havent emotionally developed substantially to be able to share a healthy relationship with another.
We all are responsible for our own happiness and feelings of love and contentment. What our partners do or dont do can reinforce the way we interpret any feelings of love and happiness, but ultimately, it is up to each and everyone of us to create our own. Noone can give us that, and noone likes a needy partner.
Love and admire someone for their qualities, the things you share, the company, and not because you are seeking emotional dependance. Every action you do to make yourself self-appreciative is worthy of repeating every chance you get. Does working out make you feel invigorated and alive? Then take up some form of exercise you love and continue. Do you love giving back? Then reap in the joys of joining and supporting your fave organisation. Do you have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge? Then take up new studies or hobbies. The point here is do more of the stuff that makes you shine. Develop your own person and love everything you do! This is, of course, contagious and will rub off into other areas of your relationships. I wish you all the love and happiness in the world. Go for it. You deserve it!!
For further insight into undertanding the concept of the language of love, I highly recommend The Secret Language of Love. It captures beautifully the joy and pain, and the many emotions you will identify with and observed from falling into the romance of love. It comes with delightfully presented and culturally diverse, poems, excerpts and beautiful art.
Did you know that for most women, cunnilingus (oral sex) is their preferred sexual act? But with over 6,000 nerve endings in the clitoris, you need to know exactly what you're doing before poking your tongue around there, otherwise it could be really painful and, even worse, spoil the mood! So does Michael's Lick-by-Lick book make the cut? Let's find out…
To be honest, at first glance I thought that a book about going down on women was silly! I mean, you just lick it and keep doing the ABC's until climax, right? I constantly found myself skipping to the techniques section before quickly slapping myself in an attempt to read it properly BUT…
After reading the guide for a few minutes, I realized how clueless I was about women and oral sex. And considering many studies mention that an estimated 50% of women fake orgasms, how would you ever know you're doing it right?
After flicking through a few pages, I am now a believer and was pleasantly surprised by the in-depth detail woven into this book. It covered getting a woman comfortable with the act, persuasive suggestions to make her shave, safety precautions, positions, and yes, many basic and advanced techniques! So after reading it, I've learned to appreciate some very important details and why men often can't please their girlfriends and wives. The talk about romance, being relaxed and having a stress-free environment really hit home for me and made a lot of sense! (All things alot of guys tend to skip most of the time.)
All in all, Lick by Lick gives any guy the complete knowledge he needs to make any woman reach the big O. Two thumbs up from me!
One of the biggest hurdles to talking dirty is our comfort levels. You may find yourself asking "What does my partner want" or maybe you ask yourself "How Should I Talk Dirty To My Boyfriend?" and then you might think what is going too far, and what isn't going far enough? How do you even know that he will embrace your sexy minx at all? If he's dropped clues or has already talked dirty to you in bed, then you have an idea that he wants you to get a little dirtier. However, for the teddy bear who isn't sure where to start, the whole idea of dirty talk can be a lil intimidating not to mention embaressing!!
Remember, even the best dirty talkers start from somewhere. Start out slow - flirting and sexy body language! Read and watch erotica together. Take notes. Show your lover how much they are turning you on. Slip a sexy note into his pocket or in some surprize spot. Make it short and sweet like "I loved what we did last night" get into his head and let his thoughts run wild. Send him mail at some point when his away, telling him something spicy, a little flirty, and subtle, like: "I love the way you kiss me."
He's probably going to respond, and engage you to talk more, and you should! Don't hesitate to get a bit steamier with him. "I love the way you do that," will make him wonder: What is it that turned her on? And what, exactly? It will get him thinking about the last time the two of you had sex, and that's what we want him thinking. You want him thinking about sex with you, because the more he thinks about it, the more he's going to want to be more eager and crave for more.
When you are in bed, test your dirty talk prowness by trying out anything other than words. Talk to him in sighs, moans and whispers. Show him what you desire with your breathless utterings - show him exactly where and how you want to be touched. Even if you've had sex hundreds of times, showing desire will make it seem like a fresh new encounter.
When the sighs and moans have relayed your message, start talking about his sexy body! Caress his chest, tracing your fingers up and down while you tell him how strong and handsome he looks. Make direct eye contact and ask, "Do you like that, sexy boy? Do you want more?"
The trick is to keep him talking and guide you to the kind of dirty talk he wants to hear. If he gets raunchy and makes you blush, don't stop and slink into silence - instead, show how much its turning you on with sexy moans and answer his hot words with sexy words of your own. Work to build up that unbareable ache until you're saying things that you thought you would never hear yourself say. Watch for his reaction, which will prolly be one of surprize and more great sex.
He will respond favorably to your down and dirty talking, and remember the sky's the limit! You have just shown how sexy you can be and make him desire you and experiment with you even more!
Click the player below to listen into my audio version of Learning How To Talk Dirty
Are you super short of stamina in bed? Are you overwhelmed with the prospect of having LESS than spectacular sex for the rest of your life?
Being a guy frustrated by the problem of premature ejaculation is bad enough, but it's made a lot worse by the myriad of myths, misconceptions and lies that surround this subject.
These myths can cloud the issue and make it so much harder for you to overcome your endurance shortcoming and pave out a new, more confident and longer-lasting sexual stamina.
Let's put some of the common myths, exaggerations and blatent lies about premature ejaculation to rest once and for all!
-------------------------------------------------------------------- Myth #1 - Premature ejaculation is a sexual disease that has no cure --------------------------------------------------------------------
Although PE can be clinically diagnosed as a sexual ailment, it is in no way a disease or a form of illness. There are many causes of premature ejaculation, but the key ones are more adequately labeled as psychological or mental issues.
In fact, with the proper conditioning and re-education, you can easily reverse and "unlearn" a lifetime of ejaculation problems that stem from early years when you first discovered your own sexuality.
-------------------------------------------------------------------- Myth #2 - If you ejaculate within 2 minutes, you have premature ejaculation --------------------------------------------------------------------
This is really subjective. You see, men can be classified as premature ejaculators if they consistently cannot last more than 2 minutes during sex. But if you can bring your woman to an orgasm in less than 2 minutes, then you are really not suffering from PE!
It all depends on whether your woman is fulfilled during lovemaking. If she's truly satisfied even in a rapid sex session, you are way ahead of most men in your sexual performance!
-------------------------------------------------------------------- Myth #3 - You can use "distraction techniques" to last longer in bed --------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, yes and no. Some men find that thinking of something other than sex can prevent them from getting aroused too soon. But this is not an ideal solution as it distracts you from actually enjoying sex.
Truth is, with some practice, you can experience the full splendor of lovemaking and attain great control over your ejaculation at the same time - without thinking about baseball statistics... or her grandmother!
-------------------------------------------------------------------- Myth #4 - Pills are the best way to treat early ejaculation issues --------------------------------------------------------------------
Although some pills claim to add hours to your sexual endurance, there is no hard evidence to back this up. In fact there is no FDA-regulated medication or drug on the market that is proven to boost your stamina on bed. Plus, pills are not long-term solutions to fix PE and can be a huge financial drain on your pockets to boot!
So what is the BEST way to fix PE?
Honestly? Every guy is different... and some preventive cures work better on some men than others. If your PE stems from a mental issue, you may want to try cognitive exercises. A physical problem? Often these can be fixed very quickly by practicing specific exercises. And some PE problems can actually be solved by having MORE sex! And others... require a little bit of extra effort in OTHER areas altogether.
The bottom line is....
PE does NOT need become a permanent fixture in your sex life. As a matter of fact, the FASTER you fix it... the happier you are going to be (and your partner too!)
And like what thousands of men have found out, THIS could completely turn your sex life around and reverse a lifetime of embarrassment:
About the author:
Lloyd Lester is the creator of "Ejaculation By Command", a complete, step-by-step blueprint to help men permanently end premature ejaculation and last longer in bed. Learn how you can develop superior sexual endurance and enjoy transformative sex by visiting: Ejaculation By Command.
arent we all a lil epifanatical?.. the journey has begun.. ive weathered the storm.. and am now sailing thru into calmer seas.. epifanatical coz im enjoying finding out who I am.. a true pertinacious creature.. headstrong.. persistant.. unstructured.. devilish.. an undeniable romantic adventurous soul at heart.. and a lil crazy. I write about feel good, dating tips, erotica, poetry, social media, personal blurbs, humour and just fun stuff
What is premature ejaculation? Well, snoozing science stuff aside, all it really means is that you don’t last as long in bed as you really want to – you ejaculate too soon. Enter Gaining Control. Gaining Control is a FREE 14-day email course to teach you how to regain your control and begin enjoying and be able to prolong your sexual performance.
This is me in 1964!! haha NOT! I wasnt even born then. This is my yearbook yourself creation from yearbookyourself.com YIKESS!! I look just like my year 8 form headmistress !! LOL Go create your own, its all in fun and you can chose from a range of years and looks !! I look rather spiffy if I do say so myself. I would have been one hot looking chicka back in 1964 with these maneater looks LOL
. It captures beautifully the joy and pain, and the many emotions you will identify with and observed from falling into the romance of love. It comes with delightfully presented and culturally diverse, poems, excerpts and beautiful art. 
