Friday, October 31, 2008

the dating game


Hi everyone,

Hi to all that have come to visit. This is Miz Helena aka epifanatical, welcoming you all to my kool new dating game forum. Thx for stopping by. Im am excited to announce the launch of starting a brand new forum where im hoping I can answer all of your love questions and give you some tips on dating too.

Im no expert when it comes to giving advice, im just your average next door type of gal who has lived a bit and has experienced alot of pain, love, joy and some really extraordinary moments in my life that I'd like to share and hope fully you can relate to.

My advice is based on my own lifes experiences, from friends and what I have observed in others. I give my advice usually straight up and honest without any sugar coated bullshit. You may not like it, but thats just me. I dont tell you what you want to hear, rather what the brutal honest truth is.

Please feel free to roam and have a lil sticky around the site, post your stories, introduce yourselves, make a few new friends, invite your friends, reply to posts, post your pics, etc. I am soooo looking forward to meeting you all.

Please take the time to read my other announcements too.

thx a bunch everyone.

click here to go register at the dating game forum




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happy halloween


HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! well we dont really celebrate it that much here, although when we were kids, we use to dress up and go trick or treatin in the neighbourhood. I did get a few kids knocking on my door in the afternoon and gave em a bit of sweets and chocolate. lol







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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

follow-up reply to would you trust your wife going out alone with your friend?


Q: Wow, awesome advice! I appreciate it! The weird thing is, I agree with you! LOL I say "weird" because most guys wouldn't be okay with it. I agree with you on the "let her explore" part and will let her do that. Just so I know we're on the same page, define "explore" for me, like what that entails to you, etc. I took your advice and went out with them twice since reading your response and no, I didn't feel any jealousy or insecurity. I actually had a good time. It was weird, on one of the nights, she actually held his hand and kissed him a few times with me there and as crazy as it sounds, I didn't have a problem with it and it was good to see her happy and having a good time. They're going out tonight and they invited me, but I think I'll let her go alone with this time, so I'm not tagging along all the time. I know you're going to ask if her and I spend quality time alone and the answer is yes. We do a lot alone, have great communication, etc. Anyway, let me know your thoughts and thanks again for the great advice!


A: All I have to say again is WOW! You really are quite unique.

Im glad you liked my reply. By let her explore, what I meant is let her do her thing, (with respect for you in mind of course), it might be what they have been doing, like taking classes together like you mentioned, or whatever else. At least they have their interaction times.

OMG, WOW this is what I meant about being unique, I swear I havent met a guy as unique as you. I mean, you watched them kiss and hold hands? and it didnt phase you? What bf would do that? Im not meaning to say that its right or wrong, everyone has their limits as to what they can handle or not. But I gotta ask, what were THEY feeling about it? Both your wife and your friend? To have you there and they openly showed affection? Was it a friendly gesture or more? Did they seek your permission before doing it?

Could it be your wife has an exhibitionist fetish? She WANTS you to watch? and getts off on it? Have you discussed this with her? Its a lil hard for me to pass my judgement of the situation before you tell me more, im just an observer on the surface with this. Still, you say you didnt have a problem with it. Could it be then that its you that has the fetish? That you love to see your wife with other men? Have you examined this? Again, not that its right or wrong.

You must fill me in with what happened on their outing they had alone without you. Im sure there are things they get up to without you there, if they openly show affection with each other while you are there. I still think you guys have an ideal marriage. One of love and respect. and its great to hear that you also spend quality time alone with each other too, thats very important, and that you openly can communicate.

Looking forward to hearing from you again. cheers !

- epifanatical

500 Lovemaking Tips and Secrets

More Passion & Intimacy With Great Sex From Oprah Romance Expert

1000 Questions For Couples

What You Absolutely Must Know About Your Relationship - Test Your Compatibility And Grow Deeper In Love. For Those Dating, Married Or Even In A Long Distance Relationship. Couples Have Even Used It To Stop A Divorce








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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

look whos on the cover of sexy & riches



The Wealth of Australia.. Peer into the life of one of the richest ppl on the planet MEE!!! ha!




hey Im famous!!! ha! :).. was in the mood for a lil pick me up.. so i went and had a fun afternoon creating my mag cover! from mag mypic.com its a pretty kool app, well i had you fooled yes? LOL






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Monday, October 13, 2008

would you trust your wife going out alone with your friend?



Q: I've been reading some of the advice you give and like it. Mind if I ask you your advice on something? A very good friend of ours took my wife out the other tonight for her birthday (I had to work). The 3 of us have been good friends for about 3 years. They have been practically best friends the entire time. Our friend and my wife work-out together, they've gone to the mall together, have taken classes together, but that night was the first night that they've gone out together alone at night. The weird thing is, I'm not at all insecure or jealous about it. I actually thought it was cool that they went out together (and still think it's cool). A few nights ago my wife and I went to dinner and she thanked me for respecting her friendship with Steve. Then she asked me what I thought the boundaries should be, what they should be allowed to do, etc. She said she looks at him like a best friend. She said she cares for him a lot and loves him. I told her that I assumed that she loved him and that I thought that was okay (I told her that it's possible and okay for friends to love each other). She then said that they have come close to making love several times, but that each time, she has stopped because of me. She also said at the same time, she does want to make love to him and said it wouldn't be just "for the sex", but them expressing love physically. She told me that she doesn't think she can do that without me knowing and approving and we left it at that (for now). I just told her that was a lot of information for me to intake and that I'd have to think about things before I responded to her. I did tell her though that I understand and respect her wishes and told her not to feel guilty or go crazy when she gets those thoughts. Anyway, I'm probably boring the heck out of you, but if you have any advice, that would be great. Thanks!


A:
Thanks so much for your kind words. I appreciate that greatly, its good to hear you enjoy my answers. Thanks also for choosing me to answer your question.

Well what can I say? WOW!! You are a very rare bread indeed! There should be more understanding men like you around that have very trusting liberal views about their partners, hey thats sooo good to hear!

It sounds like your wife is a very considerate, loving person who doesnt want to hurt you and values what you feel. It also sounds like you have the ideal marriage, one of openness, understanding without jealousy or envy. Its very respectful of your wife to reveal her honest feelings towards your mutual friend and that you can see this from her point of view and although it may be a lil difficult to know how to handle, I feel you have done the right thing in asking for time to think and take in.

We women are very unique creatures, and can be quite flirty. This in itself is harmless, we all love to be charmed and flattered. It sounds as if they get along very well. And its great to see that you arent insecure about their friendship.

Alot of couples have "open" type relationships that they have friends of the opposite sex and have fun with. And these couples tend to last together longer than those who are controlling, and jealous. They go behind their partners back and cheat and have affairs, and have arguments coz the communication has broken down. This tends to lead to couples giving up and splitting up. Not too good is it?

If you continue to be Ok with it, why not let her explore? Nothing is secret, it will all be done with your knowledge, and she will feel more at ease.

However, as much as I say this, there is a slight downside too to think about. You say that she "loves" him, and you assume that she feels for him as a friend, and your fine with that. But, what was to happen and how would you feel if they genuinely lets say, fell in love with each other despite the openness you have? Could you cope if she told you that she wants a break to think about things? And what if she left you because of those feelings she has developed? Could you handle that? It is a possible risk that you may want to think about because of their close proximity and friendship. Friendships have known to grow into intimacy with love.

perhaps a good solution is to allow her to hang out with him, but you go along too on some of these outings and see how they interact with each other and maybe talk about things together. If you dont feel a jealous bone in your body after you do, then it would be safe to say she does love and respect you and wouldnt do anything to hurt you.

Like I said, you are a very rare breed indeed! Most men would be freaking out and be accusing their mate of infidelity before it has even occured! Making their partner then sneak around behind their back and disrespecting their loved one even more. Believe me, a woman would love to have a partner that has qualities like yours, easygoing, trusting, understanding and not envious. If all truth be told, many people say that there are times when they have had affairs behind their partners back because of problems and a breakdown of the usual togetherness, so you sweetee sound like you have a rock solid marriage with a very loving and respectful wife.

I wish you all the best with this situation, and if theres any further questions you would like to ask, then feel free to ask away! Let me know how its going for you both! Cheers !! :)


***** taken from my personal agony aunt column @ Dear Cupid









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Sunday, October 12, 2008

what would you do if your bf wanted his ex back?





Q: what would you do if you found out your current bf of 15 months sent a dirty email to his xgf only to send it to her husbands account instead. Her husband forwarded me the email. My bf wrote"I miss being with you.You were so hot you dripped on my cock.I hope you and your family is fine and i hope you and your husband is good." Her husband forwarded me the email and said tell your cheating bf to stop emailing about my wife.He's nothing but a cheater and a liar. What would you do?I end up copying the email and through it in his face.I think he thought he would never get caught.I guess it backfired on him.Would most women dump him eveen though they didn't hook up and have sex or would they give him another chance? I think he had good intentions on cheating on me and she din't want nothing to do with him and decided to let me know what he was up to.Please help.Thanks.


A: omg what a predictament, yes you are right in what you thought his intentions were. He obviously still thinks about her. Did he mistakenely sent it to her hubbys acc? im presuming this is the case.

Cheating can take many forms sweetee, it doesnt need to involve any physical contact. The mere fact is that INTENTION was there. However, when someone cheats, it is usually the CONSEQUENCE of some deeper seated problems. Is everything going ok in your relationship? I dont say this to lay blame, rather to make you aware of what could be the cause. Maybe he is feeling bored, unhappy about some recent event, or just plain devious. and all this is NOT meant to be directed at you, its his actions. We must remember we are all responsible for our thoughts and actions, and not those of others, we cant start laying blame with our partner, like for example, oh you werent there when i needed you or you dont understand me, even if these reasons might seem to others as feasable, they arent. Its what the individual is feeling, not their partner, whatever the excuse.

Now on what to do, has this behaviour been repeated ever? I mean have you ever caught him out before lying? Have you forgiven him and has it happened again? If you have, maybe you should base this on your decision for this current situation. I will tell you a brief story of what i went thru with my ex, who admitted to me BEFORE I actually caught him that he had been indulging in phone sex regulary. The only reason he confessed was that the phone bill had arrived and i would be seeing it too.

He apologised and i forgave him, and he promised he wouldnt be doing it again, as he was only curious to see what it was like, even thou the bill said he amassed 23 sex calls. I believed him and forgave him. A few days later while out on my own and he alone at home, instinct just told me "i bet he is on the phone again", so i decided to creep into the house and find out, and sure enough, when i burst open the bedroom door, there he was with the phone in his ear wanking. OMG, just that scene playing vividly in my head as i busted him and hearing his words he was sorry and that he wont ever do that again, began a whirlpool in my head, and it really made me so angry and confused. I mean it wasnt so much the act of making the call, but his lies and sneakiness. I never forgave him after that, and came to the conclusion that he will always be lying, and i couldnt take it if that was the case.

If you feel you love him and he deserves a 2nd chance, you need to sit down with him and have a long heart to heart. Tell him to start off and be open, just spill it, let him talk, dont cut in, wait till he has said what he wants to say, but be prepared for tears and maybe things to be revealed that you had no clue over. But do not be too quick to judge, separate yourself from it, remember, this is him speaking, its what HE is feeling, even if he drags you into it, its him, not you. Then, after all has been revealed, come up with a plan that works for both of you. Compromise, make follow up talks periodically to see how things are progressing, and follow thru.

If on the other hand, you feel you just cant trust him and you need a break, by all means take it. Take time out for yourself to think, regroup, prioritise and get in touch with yourself. Do not be too hard on yourself. Do not blame yourself and be thinking its you. We all do things in life because we want to do them, not because others tell us to. So, think of it this way. Your bf has issues. It was his decision to do what he did. So maybe a nice break will help clarify the situation and help both of you to see what you really feel and want. Maybe at the end of the break, you both feel its time to move on or maybe you will realise just how important your relationship is and want to stay together. I hope this all makes sense? I wish you all the best. Please dont be afraid to let me know how things are progressing. Thanks. :)

*** The above is a question I was asked recently at myDear Cupid agony aunt column, please visit me @ Dear Cupid


visit my agony aunt column @ Drea Cupid











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how to please your man




How to Please Your Man
I am writing on behalf of women who find trouble understanding what men are really looking for in women and their relationships. As gawky as it may sound, I went up to every man I know --- from my circle of friends, as well as those I have just met online --- and without second thoughts, asked them a question that would help me come up with conclusions for this piece...I am supposed to write a useful string of realistic facts that I should now throw at information-hungry women who are crazy about acing her relationship with her lover


I’m currently wearing a devilish grin as I write this. I know that there are quite a number of woman who are interested ….. no, in fact, very interested in finding out how to please her man. They say that a woman rocks a man’s world, and for a good number of women, that man is her world!


I’ve read packs of articles advocating that women should know a man’s sexual fantasy to make him happy... maybe there is some truth to this because if not, these ideas won’t sell... however, as I read these notes, I wonder if men are naturally perverted beings and that if women should just accept that... in fact, my girlfriends have accepted that and now have a complete yearly subscription of magazines that tackle these issues.


What’s surprising is – women of any type are mad about these issues... It doesn’t matter if she is liberated or conservative... most of them have ‘dilapidated’ copies of magazines of these sorts. She likes to rundown each tip over and over again and giggles at this new-found knowledge over coffee with their girlfriends. Men often think that girls are content with being chased and that they don’t care... well, I’ll tell you a secret.. they actually spend long hours in girly chats talking about men and painful make over sessions to please their mates. Talk about those Brazilian wax sessions!


Before I get any more raised eyebrows, let me point out that I’d like my piece to just augment women’s readings and for them to be cautious about being misled by what they know. What I want to emphasize is that men are more than what he says about himself. Though simple (only means less complicated than women), he is still complex. Contrary to what you know, he is more than physical, sex and lust. For you to please him, you need to know what he thinks, appreciates and loves.


I hereby, unearth the ten lover-teristics of men that will help women become better mates:

1. He believes that a way to his heart is through his stomach (after all, this is so not a cliché!)

2. Just like a woman, he too, wants to be appreciated and not taken for granted. (so, don’t be naïve and let him do all the surprising and the caring)

3. He expects you to be honest (although he’s finding this difficult to do too).

4. He needs to know and feel you love him (Yes, those three words and more! Even though he barely says it to you too)

5. He has to lust you to love you (so, you might need to put on those tiger boots or wear those sexy stilettos).

6. He frowns when you start to get loud (Therefore, don’t N-A-G).

7. He hopes you are happy with more than just material things. (I hear you sigh, but UH-HUH).

8. He needs your respect (yes, it also includes his privacy even now that you are a couple!) and support.

9. He wishes you also have your head in the clouds. Nothing makes you cooler than dreaming with him!

10. He wants to lean on you sometimes (he’s still human!).After all, no one’s perfect. Even Hercules needs his match who would be more than a pretty face, a mouth, a body, and a brain. He wants all of these to make everything work. Speaking of finding someone less demanding!




Happily Ever After: Finding and Keeping the Right Person will help you go from keeping your fingers crossed in hopes of being lucky in love to learning how to really find and maintain the love of a lifetime.






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5 virtues for a successful relationship




Five Virtues You Need for a Successful Relationship

He who wants to do good knocks at the gate; he who loves finds the door open.
Rabrindranath Tagore

Do you ever wonder how couples that reach their 50th wedding anniversary made it through the thick and thin all those years?Most people are envious of those who can make their relationships last half as long, but those who are in happy and successful relationships will often tell you it is not all that much work.

Why?

Because chances are that both individuals in the relationship have strong values, and virtues that exist in harmony with the other person. There are many ingredients that make a successful relationship and marriage, but there are some that are absolute musts if there is any hope of a long-term commitment. Without the five virtues listed below, existing in harmony with the other will be next to impossible. Ask any divorcee, and I’m sure they’ll tell you that the reason their relationship didn’t work out was due to lack of one of the following:

Respect for the other person and for yourself. If you cannot respect yourself, you cannot fully respect others. Respect means appreciating the other person, even when you may not fully agree with their decisions and actions.

It doesn’t mean ignoring your own values, but yet allowing the others values to co-exist alongside yours.Respect is the number one key to being able to remain life-long friends as well as lovers.

Honesty between one another. Lack of honesty will shred a relationship to pieces, which goes hand-in-hand with trust. Your partner must feel that at all times you are being truthful, which also means not holding back, but being open with each other.

There may be times when the truth hurts, but sharing your thoughts and feelings in a constructive manner will only increase the other virtues in the relationship.

Trust in your partner and the relationship. If you go through life with fear, perhaps fear that your lover will leave, or fear of being hurt, you are not trusting in what you have. Being vulnerable and allowing yourself to be open to getting hurt shows the deepest level of trust you can possible show the other, and strengthens the bond between you that much more.

Loyalty to your partner and your beliefs. Just as you wouldn’t betray yourself, you should never betray your partner. This means backing the other up in life, with support, loyalty, commitment, and security.

Being there for each other and remaining loyal to the relationship is important, as each individual wants to always feel they have a partner they can rely on, in good times and bad.

Humility, or the ability to be humble. Learning to be humble is important in any relationship, whether we are talking about with your friends, parents, or even children.

Not everyone is right all of the time, and nobody is ever better than the other. By showing that you believe you and your partner are on equal ground, you are creating a safe and secure friendship for the other that will remain the basis of your relationship as it grows.
Of course there are other virtues that are important, too, such as faith, happiness, friendliness, etc., but with the above five virtues in your corner, many others will only follow along naturally.














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Sunday, October 5, 2008

my fabulous date and partay weekend YAY!


What a wonderful weekend ive had! One of the best in a long while. It was my sisters 38th birthday partay in affluent style. I dont know how she does it sometimes, managing a home, working and catering to her own partay! What a woman. Im so proud to have her as my dear sister. The guests were quite a mix. I met people from TV, to surburban housewives, to personal friends, to employees.


We feasted, drank elegant cocktails and got down and shook our asses till the wee wee hours, not wanting it to end and enjoying the atmosphere so much. My date for the evening was Mr C, my mysterious saviour from my Epifanatical on a Sunday moment and Picnic at Hanging Rock, if you all remember. I put on my recently purchased brown elegant spaghetti strap fitted cam with my tight jeans and strappy summer heeled sandals, with just a touch of Gio, and pulled my hair up into a high ponytail. Very sexy. He turned up on time dressed in sexy diesel jeans, and a to die for armani shirt unbuttoned just enough for me to start experiencing palpitations at the sight of his smooth firm brown chest.


We arrived just as the partay got started and it felt as if we were walking up the red carpet. Everyone turned to stare at him and began whispering "whos that?" As up until that point, I hadnt introduced him to anyone. He was slightly nervous about meeting my sisters and friends, so I gently guided him around to say hi and exchange plesentaries and get them out of the way, so we could just relax. OMG what a smoothy he was. I always knew he was a charmer, as I watched him take the ladies hands and plant a soft kiss on them. I was feeling quite heady from all the excitement he left in his wake, as he captivated woman after woman. It was if they were standing in line to be enchanted.


You know those moments when everything just clicks and flows? Well it was one of those. The music was brilliant, the dining opulent and the atmosphere pumping.


I just knew tonight was the night. The buildup has been excruciatingly painful to keep our hands off each other, as due to his unresolved feelings with his ex we have held back. But there was something about tonight that was stirring us. He has only recently been comfy with calling me baby, every opportunity he got he would come over and exchange killer stares that would moisten my pantees. Something about that moment when a man is comfortable in calling you baby that switches something on in a womans mind. I had visisons of Connie Summer in Unfaithful where the gorgeous Paul Martel walks into the cafe where she was with friends and sniffs his hand after its been touching her horny slit, and they ask her whos that? causing her to wriggle and squirm in her seat, then they fuck urgently in the back. MY GOD. What was he doing to me? Where were these fantasies coming from? We havent even been intimate yet past goodbye kisses.


He grabbed my hand and we started to groove to the strains of 80's old sckool funk, "Rock Steady" which was one of my fave in the clubbs. He held me close and I could smell his scent and feel the heat rising from his heavenly body. We danced and danced till he practically had to carry me off the floor. So we ended up going for a stroll in the garden. This is where things started heating up. A touch here, a kiss there, compliments, his unbridled urgency, all served to add to the unbearable electricity in the air around us. I was in a trance. My weakness was not allowing me to think properly. We had to get away.


Kissing everyone goodbye, and getting so many stares and winks from friends, we finally left. He drove as far as the next block before asking me if I was up for a drive to the beach. Haha. How did I know he would be saying that? I cannot escape that folks. He will always be teasing me about the beach. He reached over and grabbed my hand and placed it together with his on the gear shift, and we drove like that mainly in silence, it was like an invisible force was taking us there. Both anticipating what will become of the evening. Somehow in the very back of the realms of my mind I was thinking could I resist the lethal charms of this cutee.


Arriving and parking the car, we got out and stood around chatting for a while, deciding on what to do. He suggested we go for a long stroll up and down along the sand. So we stripped off our shoes and left them in the car and walked down to the kool sand. It was quite balmy and fresh, the remnants of the perfect day still apparent. It felt so soothing after wearing heels to tread on the soft stimulating sand.


We walked hand in hand alongside surf that was crashing in rolls right next to us, creating the ambiance of romance, stopping to wrap his arms around me, touching my arms, which sent shivers up my spine, and twitches in private parts. How much more of his sensuality was I able to handle? He told me he found me irresistable and warm, as we stopped for a break, almost at the edge of the cliff face. We sat down on the sand and lapped up the gorgeous surroundings. There was even a few seagulls out and about nearby.


I was so relaxed and feeling so mellow as we lay side by side resting our heads in our hands and getting cozy. We lay there looking at the stars, talking about the evening, having a laugh. It was nice. I snuggled up to his warm chest and lay my head on him, looking at him in the darkness, imagining what was going thru his mind. How can two people get this close without temptation getting in the way?


Pulling me closer after a few initial moments of fumbling, his lips reached down and found mine and we started kissing deeply. This was a test. Do I give in to the headiness? or do I restrain myself and not appear too keen? This has been our 3rd date and I still felt unsure, but from the deep recesses of my mind that movie keeps playing on in my head. You know the scene right? When Connie visits Paul and he tries to seduce her and she bravely tries to turn him down, but in the end cant and just grabs him with passion?

Our french tonging continued, he had me under his wicked spell, and was unleashing my inner whore with wild abandonment. Reaching to the tops of my jeans he was toying with the buttons and rubbing my stomach which had become exposed by his wondering hands. Pushing my camisole up further, he slid his hands up to my breasts and delishiously began to caress them, squeezing them gently and kissing me all around my navel area, automatically reacting by opening up my thighs. OMG whats happening here?

His hands were all over me, right there in the beautiful moonlight, pressing his lips close to my ear, his breathing quickening, saying how much he wants to lick me everywhere. Oh baby, when all of a sudden, a freakish wave came sneaking up and almost washed us away. Talk about dampening the moment! From here to eternity eat your heart out! Faaark we ended up soaked!


That put an end to that lil misadventure. We quickly got up shocked by the rude interruption, and starting to get all goosebumpy and shivery as the wind blew against us. We went back to his car and just stood there trying to dry off as much as possible. It was as if I was right and this was a sign. BRAKES! STOP! So im glad we didnt cross the line yet. I think I would have been so mixed up and so would he. My yahoo answers peepz were correct in their answers that night. Im not saying its right or wrong either way. If we did or if we didnt, but somehow, without me knowing how to explain it, this does feel the safer option.


Nevertheless, after we dried up, we went for a coffee in town and had a great laugh about it all. Never had we both had anything this exciting happen on a date. It sure was a fun weekend, and one which I will remember for a while. He dropped me off at home, kissed me goodnight, and I just had to jump online and rant. Holla at epi if any of you have had a time to remember as well. Would love to hear it!!


My pantees thou, never had a chance to dry!!







Top Ten Most Awkward Dating Movie Moments - The most amazing bloopers are here







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