Thursday, January 29, 2009

11 do-able ways to boost confidence

Congratulations! Reading this article is the first step towards wanting to be a better person. 11 realistic do-able ways on how to look and feel good about yourself. You will exude a glow that people will notice. So maybe you dont have a million bucks but you definitely can feel like it!
It’s easy! Add a little spice of determination and commitment into the regimen and things will start to turn around soon enough.

Avoid feeling stressed. Don’t forfeit opportunities for you to exercise. If work drains you out, try an easy workout of two rounds of 15 sit-ups when you wake up and before going to bed. This will flatten your stomach and when done regularly, develop those abs you are envious of. If you need to do more than that, you can always hit the gym. Sweating those toxins out really does wonders not just for your body but also on how you look at life.

Watch your diet. No, we are not aiming for you to becoming anorexic. It’s eating anything you want in moderation and at the right time. There’s no point starving or keeping ice cream away. If you do that, you are in danger of over-indulging when you get a chance.

Have you also heard how getting enough sleep and drinking plenty of water hydrates your skin and makes you look fresh? It’s true! If you wanna try something different and refreshing, why not add Liquid Chlorophll to your filter drinking water?.. natures very own super green food can be found at any good health food shop..

Dress to feel comfortable and to look good. There are people who often excuse themselves from purchasing good looking clothes and say they only dress for themselves. Theres something about treating yourself every now and then that makes us feel great.. it might be as a reward.. or just because you want to.. whatever the reason.. making the effort to look good is a huge confidence booster.

Teach your mind to be happy. Staying positive is the key! Believe in what’s best and not in what’s worrying you. Our mind is very powerful that if you train it to side dish the negative thoughts and focus on the good parts, it eventually will. Successful people have learnt to pay attention to the bright side and weed out negativity. So should you too!

Be kind to yourself. Pat yourself on the shoulder if you need to. Value and never criticize nor insult yourself. Don’t be calling yourself names like stupid or idiot. It is a no-no. These are ego downers and are never helpful to boosting your self esteem. Nobody needs you to be perfect. We are all entitled to mistakes. You are no different if you stumble but you will be when you learn to laugh at yourself and move forward. Throwing self affirming statements while you look at the mirror every morning will actually boost your self confidence and will give you a good kick to start the day off.

Love yourself. I’m not saying be narcissistic. What I’m telling you is I can’t love you back if you don’t love yourself first. At least like your own skin, accept the flaws and live with it. People come in different colors and sizes. It doesn’t matter which shade or shape you are. While looking like Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt is a bonus, it is not important. You can be imperfect and people will still like you. It’s all in the attitude and knowing that impressions that last are those that make big impact in other people’s lives. What impression of you are you leaving people?

Fall in love with what you do. It’s not healthy to keep minding what others think about you. You are actually happier when you do what you genuinely enjoy and not because it’s what is expected. You should never complain and blame others why you didn’t succeed in your career or relationship. Significant others may influence our decisions but remember that life is what WE make it, not what THEY make it.

Don’t stuff your ego with lies. Interestingly, there are individuals who make up stories to make themselves look bigger to others and even to themselves. Flatter yourself this way and be sure that this could back fire in the long run. Recognize the REAL YOU and show people that. Friends actually know when you lie or not. But showing them you are human and that you have flaws and you don’t mind laughing at it makes you more likeable and sincere. You’ll forget to frown at yourself too.

Don’t be afraid to show who you really are. I see my friends trying to keep it cool but end up repressing their emotions. Letting off steam sometimes is healthy for you and those around you. This applies for all human beings - mean and women alike. Breaking that fa├žade by venting feelings relieves tension and anxiety and lets people understand you more.

Sincerely care about others. Life is not about you and you. It’s a conglomeration of social relationships working towards finding life’s purpose. It’s not man after himself. If I mind you and not just me, I’d feel good about not being selfish and making someone else happy.
Think about all these. Then, if you have the urge to ask yourself why you should start doing this, why not also ask yourself “Why not?”.

Raise Self Assured Confidence Kids

Raise kids who are WITH you, and not fighting AGAINST you. Kids with a deep sense of self worth that frees them to do the right thing

Unstoppable Confidence

How to explode your comfort zone, shatter your limiting beliefs and instantly increase your confidence

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

super mom

Sunday, January 25, 2009

how to make an impression

5 Personality Traits to Make You Stand Out

I was driving home one night thinking about helping a friend stand out amongst a crowd and getting noticed. Earlier that day, while we were having coffee, she vehemently told me that she finally want to snap out of always having to be in the dark side of the room and be unheard and unnoticed. She is 33. Sadly enough, this is an issue that people of any age, face.

I ended my conversation with this friend assuring her I would try to think of ways to help her find a ‘cure’ to her condition. Since the coffee break was not enough for her to vent her feelings, I told her we could meet again the next day before I offer my piece.

As I get into the car, I tried to weave solutions to this case. I also must ensure that my suggestions should be doable by anyone who aims to test it. How do you help people quit their roles of being a wallflower or the great hero’s buddy by the way?

First of all, don’t go haywire. This condition is ‘treatable’. And the first medicine that you need to take for starters is to get out of those shadows and put on your own mask and save (errr, entertain) the world. People like to be entertained. So long as you don’t bore your audience, you are the man! So, be that man and make a statement.

Yet it seems that making a statement among your friends, family and colleagues is a daunting endeavor. Some people, however, are born lucky and they make one without a sweat. Some are just born beautiful, smart and funny and no matter how many times you exclaim that it’s not fair, it still doesn’t change things. So, what happens if you are not? There’s hope. And going blonde and joining the cheerleading squad for you to be popular is not your option. Besides, that’s not what we are aiming here for. Let’s try something simple, concrete and permanent ways to be a PERSON THAT MATTERS.

Say, you have someone you admire. What makes you like that person? You like that person because there’s something unique about him or her that inspires you. It maybe the looks, the wit or something he or she does. In the same way, find what’s best about you and bank on it.

Thinking about this as I drove farther, it dawned on me that this is what it’s all about – to be noticed, you have to invest in your own assets. Since you can’t be Eddie Murphy or Will Smith to be noticed, you can however, imitate their personalities and people will think you are just like them!

A few more seconds, I began thinking of famous ‘personalities’ that people find agreeable. I was thinking that if we could learn to wear these personalities like clothes to look dapper, then wouldn’t that be great?

Here are the five great personalities that I came up with the moment I reached home. All you need to do is choose which personality traits you think you have and practice on it.

The Model. It’s all about posture. You don’t need to have super good looks but just the confidence that you are comfortable of yourself. Remember that people sense your self-esteem and it directly affects how they look at you too.

The Clown. Be the one who cracks the joke. Don’t be the joke. Learn to laugh at yourself. Everybody makes mistakes. If your boss caught you sleeping at work, just say something like “In Jesus Christ’s name, Amen.”

The Mannequin. Dress right. It’s not about following the trends but dressing in what looks good on you. Emphasize your best features. Wear colors that complement your eyes or skin. Flaunt your assets.

The Driver. Don’t be contented to be always in the backseat. Have an opinion about something. For this to be achieved, it will be necessary to read up. Get ahead and be a leader (when you are confident you can do it). If you do this once or twice, people will remember your contribution and will most likely tap you the next time without you having to volunteer.

The Expert. What is your passion, your skills or your interests? Build on these and develop your skills more. It flows naturally if you love what you do. Say, you are good in Math, travel, astronomy or fashion. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as you are good at something! The next time people come across such topics, you would be the first person that would come to mind.

There’s nothing more satisfying than being remembered for who you really are (namely your looks, skills, talents and ideas). You may be known for how you carry yourself (model), for your sense of fashion and style (mannequin), for your bright ideas and leadership (driver) and for your genius (expert).

Emphasizing your strengths is the key to becoming ‘someone’. What’s great is we all have strengths and assets. Go find yours and think how you can go about it. As for me, I still have to get back to that friend and hand her these 5 personalities she could choose to wear for her to look dapper!

For further reading I recommend:

Secrets To Social Success

How to be the kind of person everyone wants to be friends with

Friday, January 23, 2009

tips for getting over a divorce or separation

Tips For Women Getting Over A Divorce Or Separation

A divorce can be a very painful event for women. Women are usually very family orientated, devoting their time to raising the children, supporting their partners, and maintaining the home, usually sacrificing her own career and goals for the sake of the family, so its no wonder when she finds herself in the middle of divorce proceedings, it can really throw her life into total disarray. Her future now seems bleak, and the security she once felt is shattered. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, grief, loss, and despondency.

However much sadness this brings, there are ways that can help you regain your life back and give you the confidence to look to the future with a more optimistic attitude. This article is devoted to help you realise your strengths, overcome your grief and move forward.

Emotional Healing

1) Give yourself time to heal. Time really becomes your best friend in times of adversity, a time to regroup, prioritise, and discover a few truths. Don’t be afraid to cry if you feel like it. Let it pour out, vent, beat up your pillow, throw darts onto his picture, whatever it takes to get it out, DO IT!

2) Keep up with your favourite hobbies and interests, or discover a few new ones. Indulging in any enjoyable activity helps to regain your focus, develop your talents and help you to forget your worries. Spend an afternoon walking around your neighbourhood, go to a art galleria, museum, draw, paint, write, read whatever you enjoy. Pay attention to the feeling it gives you, and relish in it. You need more of it.

3) Keep your friends close. Friends can be wonderful in times of sorrow, for a shoulder to cry on, an open heart to heart chat and friendly advise. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to people that are closest to you a good counsellor can be a healthy alternative. A good counsellor can help you explore your deeper feelings, bring forth any feelings of resentment you hold and help you release them, give you ways you can cope with your overwhelming feelings of despair and guide you on a recovery path.

4) Stop Laying The Blame. Let it go!! Whatever is in the past, let it remain there. Look forward to the new day. Any mistakes can be learnt from and be seen as a learning experience. Be kind to yourself. Learn to laugh at your shortcomings and those of others.

5) Keep a diary and make entries into it everyday. This is an important part of the healing process. To reflect, grow and move forward, to identify your emotions and make dealing with the pain a little easier. Make a weekly summary and reflect upon your achievements, aspirations, and to commence your future goal planning.

Learning To Become Independent

1) Look for work, or go back to study. This not only fills in the time, but it helps you gain financial independence. Learning to stand on your own two feet after a divorce is vitally important and one that gives you immense satisfaction. You also become a role model for your kids that projects strength and commitment.

2) Keep your dating options open. There will come a time when you will feel you want to start seeing new people. This can take a while, especially if your break-up was bitter, but eventually it will be inevitable. Start with group dates. Don’t reject a group outings invitation, you need social interaction to stay in touch and the opportunity to meet others. This will become easier to manage with time. After a while, you will probably realise why you didn’t do it sooner. Another positive PLUS!!

3) Rearrange The Furniture! Im serious, a change they say is as good as a holiday. Rearrange your bedroom, change it completely! Paint the walls, add a fresh bouquet of flowers, dress up the bed with your personal favourite items, hang exquisite art on the walls, burn incense or candles. Make it scream you!

4) Come Up With A Mantra. Make positive affirmations daily. Ive just come up with a good one. Look into the mirror and repeat as often as possible.

“My life is complete. I am a woman that has a lot to contribute and offer. I love myself and have a high expectations. I will not allow myself to de disrespected or abused. Life is so precious. I have clear defined goals. I will make my life exciting, full and rewarding. I am the centre of my universe. I will do whatever it takes to live a fulfilling quality of life. Nothing is impossible for me. I possess strength, character and courage. I am my own person.”

Powerful huh? Yes indeed.

Remember, your problems do not begin with divorce. In fact, it gives way to new challenges and opens up a whole new learning world. Take small steps, fight it out, laugh, be kind to yourself, tackle every problem in stride. You will soon see your happiness return and your problems become a thing of the past, and your success story will be an inspiration for all. All power to you!!

For more great reading on this subject I highly recommend this:

There Is A Life After Whats-His-Name

thinking of tying the knot?

Did you know that love does NOT conquer all?

You see, often people get married with the idea that their “chemistry” or undying love for each other will keep them together forever.

However, with almost 50% of marriages ending in divorce these days, it’s obvious that this isn’t the case. Therefore, it pays to know a few little secrets before getting married.

Here are 5 tips that help keep couples together long after tying the knot:

Tip #1 - Continue dating

Over the years, people often drift apart or relationships and marriages become stale because couples fail to do new and special things together. That's why going on new and refreshing dates is so important. In fact, there is something about “dating” that creates a sense of magic in a relationship and can even bring relationships out of a rut. While on a date, you also put more
effort into your appearance, have more uninterrupted time to communicate on a deeper level and are naturally drawn closer together. Stuck for ideas? Spend the day at the aquarium, zoo, museum, carnival, bookstore, beach or park.

Tip #2 – Delay is often better

It’s a well-documented statistic that couples who have dated for a year or longer before marriage have a significantly lower rate of divorce than those who married after a short dating period. A year of dating gives time for many emotions to surface and many character traits to be discovered. You may adore someone in the spring, but despise him or her in the winter. Asking someone for his or her hand in marriage on the third date isn't romantic. It's gambling.

Tip #3 – Always express your love

Oftentimes, as a relationship matures, partners tend to stop praising each other because they 'assume' their partner already knows what they're thinking. When in reality, a day should never go by without you praising your partner. Compliment them on their cooking, reaffirm that they're the greatest person in the world or tell them they’re a wonderful role model. If you want
to be loved and romanced by your sweetheart, love and romance them first. When they're feeling loved, it is much easier to love in return. Are you a super supporter of what your mate does and says? So do you cheer them on and praise them constantly? Or do they constantly hear boos or silence?

Tip #4 – Take time to understand your partner

Couples with the most problems are often the ones that say, "I just don't understand him/her." So let me ask you: How knowledgeable are you about your mate's profession or the degree they are pursuing? Do you know anything about his or her family heritage? Are you able to have a meaningful conversation about her cross-stitch hobby or his interest in rugby? If you are a man, do you fully understand what women experience during PMS or menopause? You don't need to be identical, but make an effort to learn about the things that interest your partner in life and you'll grow closer as a result.

Tip #5 - Answer the BIG questions

Does your partner want kids? Do you both want careers? Do they have a history of spending their way into debt? Do they go to church?

In my opinion, the biggest reason almost half of marriages end in divorce is because couples fail to ask each other the right questions BEFORE they get married. I guess people think they'll be able to change their spouses after marriage and everything will be better. Wrong. If you fail to sit down and discuss finances, religion, sex, housing, your future, and other topics in great detail, you could end up with nothing but argument after argument for the rest of your days.

In the end, if you both have completely different views, desires and goals in life, there’s no guarantee that chemistry or "I love you’s" will help you stay together. Make it your utmost priority to understand each other 'inside-out' BEFORE you take that walk down the aisle.

About the author:

Michael Webb is the author of “1000 Questions For Couples" the most comprehensive book of questions that all couples should ask before getting married. Covering lovemaking, religion, careers, money, children & raising them, household work, personalities, the future and much much more. To learn more, visit:

1000 Questions
For Couples

Join me in the Dating Game Forum for discussions like this
The Dating Game

how to beat an off day

How to beat an off day

Remember the time when you felt like a hamster on the loose? When that happens, I know for sure that it’s going to be an off day for me. I turn serious, if not melancholic as I try to cope with the rattle inside.

The world’s a rat race and I try to keep silent as much as possible to keep my pressure buttons safe. Then, when I have done what I am supposed to do, I put a chat-party sign up. There are many ways to beat an off day.

Once upon a time, it was to go to the fields and thresh more wheat. Nowadays, some people just pig out on high-carbo and high-fat diets.. or just go off the deep end.. but such rebellion can come back with a punch... two days later, you will be more grumpy with all the weight additions. Then, you hit the gym for a month to get rid of it. Imagine! Your off day’s revolt avenges with a month’s work!Hmm…doesn’t sound pretty?

Then, let’s re-think about everything we said so far.

Pop Quiz:

How do we beat an off day?

Be silent. For many people, this could be: praying, meditating, mentally reorganizing things you should do for that day. Most often that not, we have an off day because of the many stresses that we go through. So, it does not happen for no reason.

Don’t crash. Ever seen a computer that’s been infected with a virus? They say it crashes. So, we can call your problems a viral infection. Who cares? It doesn’t matter. But just like flu virus, it leaves you less enthusiastic, nauseous maybe, or confused. But you don’t need to take medicines. Just need to reboot yourself and re-install a few circuits here and there (review reality and your limitations and have faith you can kick it off) and you’ll be as good as brand new.

Energize. A good exercise session helps release bodily toxins and rejuvenates your mind as well. You need mental clarity to think things through so put it in its best condition. Go for a walk, enjoy the scenery or inhale the sea breeze.

Be a doer. Don’t complain. Don’t slack. Don’t stop. As Nike’s famous line says “Just do it.” When we whine about too many things and if I were to record them, we’d see that you have actually spent more time complaining than fixing the problem. The more you drown yourself in the negative, the lesser your productivity gets.

Grab a quick break. While you’re at it, talk to people. This therapy might work for some but not all. If it does for you, then, what’s holding you back? However, over-indulging yourself is not a good idea. So, make sure you don’t procrastinate on what you have to do next.

Treat yourself. I usually go to a movie and watch something funny to end my off day.. it leaves a smile on my face as I go to bed... It’s also my way of rewarding myself because I have gone through it all again!If you’re having such a day, don’t call in sick... If you do that, you’d be welcoming more problems on your doorstep for next day’s session. Get on your feet, take a shower, eat a healthy breakfast and be ready to rock and roll as usual. The more you fake it, the more you believe that it’s just another ordinary day!

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Thursday, January 22, 2009

dating tips for men

Dating tips for men - Conversation starters If you are shy it can be difficult to find the right words to start a conversation with that good-looking woman. Don't worry though, many men (even the confident ones) have trouble with the right words to start the conversation with a beautiful woman.There are a few tips and tricks that work even if you are shy or just simply do not know what to say. First, you need to scan the situation and environment around the both of you. Are you feeling nervous? dont worry too much.. you are not alone.. your date is probably feeling the same way.. knowing this will probably put you more at ease.. you can even laugh at it.. believe me guys.. this tip really works!!

Women are high on emotional and sensitive plane while guys, on a first date, may be looking for a practical viewpoint which may flop while attracting women. This feature brushes up on some basic dating tips for guys to attract women. Women are seeking a man who is secure with himself, and is able to provide it to her consistently. These men reflect it with everything they do they always seem to be in control, they are sensitive to the needs of the moment, they rise to the occasion, they have a focused purpose in their life, and are comfortable in their own skin.

Women can be a fickle bunch. Some hold the line, some move the line, some don’t believe in any line. Women love a bit of chivalry every now and then. Do don't forget to open the restaurant door when she enters. Women are not going to be attracted to guys that swarm them from the start. But at the same time they want somebody who is showing that they are confident and curteous.

Women always love men with great sense of humor. Thus, humor is a great dating tip for men. Women hate when men ask for their number, and then they never call. Once you do that, its pretty much over for you. Women are always looking to men to get a sense of reality.

Women love funny men. Women seeking dating tips are very often looking for answers on superficial things. Although women are not necessarily superficial themselves, a woman is more likely to be overly concerned with what to wear and what kind of hairstyle to sport. Women love charm, so long as it is natural, cool and unpretentious. Charm is good manners.

Women put a high value on communication that goes beyond words, and if you focus on impressing, talking and showing yourself in the best light, you may not be focusing on her. Eye contact assures her that she has your undivided attention – something every woman wants on a date. Women have an overblown reputation for being emotional, but we do tend to think we are more emotional than men. However, be careful not to offend us by disregarding our emotions. Women do not like to be treated like meat. That should be a given but sometimes men do not realize they are treating them like that.

Women like a challenge as much as men. Therefore, its not necessary to work hard to show her just how much you like her. Women notice your appearance, they judge it instantly, and unlike your friends, they can tell if something doesn't match, is out of place, or is just plain ugly. Sometimes a woman will say that shoes are the most important thing in a man - yes, above eyes, smile, muscles, and anything else are your shoes! (this could be nerves!!) lol

Girls like to chat with men who are intelligent and quick-witted. Make sure you discuss about exciting topics with her. Girls don’t like a guy to come up to them and ask them out right away. Show some interest in her first. Don't, for example, spend your date talking about your ex and your other dates, unless this is done humorously. Don't be smarmy either and gush with empty compliments. Lots of men think they can handle themselves pretty well on a date - and lots of them would be wrong. Ive been there and done that...but have you really?..

Start listening and stop talking. Keep your date interested but don't turn into a one man entertainer. Creating this air of mystery will keep the 'ball in your court' so you can decide whether this person is worth dating again or not. Most of all, enjoy the air of mystery you create and have fun with your dating.

Women are generally a whole lot deeper than men ;-) That's the good news. However, it is about something you're doing or not doing to attract women. Women are always looking to men to get a sense of reality. Women are the cleaner of the species and will partly judge you on how hygienic you are. After all, you would be appalled if she turned up for the date looking like a mutt .

Ask questions and make sure you are satisfied with the answers. Trust your instincts, move cautiously and be selective. Ask her questions, but more importantly listen to what she has to say. A woman is attracted to a man who is genuinely interested in hearing what she has to say. Asking her what her passions are outside of the workplace will give you a better idea of her personality, rather than her resume. Make sure to really listen to her response and ask open-ended questions to show youre interested in what shes saying.

Confident people attract other people. Confidence will always win the girl, although being arrogant won't, so be careful not to cross the line. Confidence is about being comfortable with who you are and where you are going and is radiates from anyone who has it so work on yours and you'll be guaranteed success!

Remember... there's a difference between dating tips for men that will get you laid and dating tips for men that will get you love. These tips apply to the latter.. (but stay tuned for the raunchier ones soon!!).. lol

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

start looking more beautiful

Start Looking Beautiful Today!

First things first, before you read on, look at your image in a mirror. Then, after doing a serious, honest scrutiny on yourself, ask yourself this: “If I were a guy, would I date me?”.
If you’re saying “Ouch.”, then please continue with the reading as I may be giving you wisdom that if taken into consideration, would get you that next date.
But what if you’re married? Well, I don’t think marriage should stop us from making ourselves look better, should it?

Striving to look good should not shrivel with age.

If you look good, you consequently feel better because it boosts your self-confidence. There are many women who suffer from plunging self-esteem issues. When issues like this hurt your outlook and attitude, it’s about time you do something about it.

If you are hoping to bump into a write up that could help you improve your looks today, well, you just have come to the right place.

Appearing beautiful means three things: taking care of your face, dressing up and watching your body. As to how to do that will be discussed in specifics in the next lines.
Why take care of your face?

The face is the part that people look at when they talk to you. Make sure that what they see is agreeable. Wear a smile all the time to get rid of the wrinkles. There are also many things that can be done with the face to get rid of problems such as blackheads, pimples, tired eyes and dry skin.

Here are quick tips:

Blackheads - Remove these nasty spots. Mix cornstarch with vinegar and spread on the area for 15-30 minutes. Using a washcloth, wash off well with warm water.

Pimples – Choose any of the following: (1) Grind garlic into a paste and apply to zit to help heal and stop infection; (2) Take some Aloe Vera juice and apply on the affected area overnight; (3) Gently massage baking soda over pimples. Do not over scrub. Rinse well with water.

Tired eyes – Place a slice of cucumber on your eyes and rest for around 10 minutes to reduce stressed eyes. Shredded potato when placed on top of eyes for 10 minutes also helps reduce black circles. If rose water is available, soak cotton ball and apply to eyes once a week.

Dry skin – Make your face glow by following these steps: (1) Mash 1/3 ripe banana in a bowl. (2)Use the pulp to wash your face and throat, avoiding the eye area. (3) Mask the mashed banana and leave on to face for 5 minutes. (4) Rinse and then pat dry. Mashed papaya can also be an alternative to make your face look fairer.

Start dressing “up”.
That’s right – it’s up and not down. Do your clothes flatter your body? So, all right you don’t have that perfect body and men can accept that but you can look great by accentuating your hot spots and minimizing your flaws.

If you’re someone on the short side, you can wear vertical stripes and make high heels your best friend.

Feeling all heavy? Avoid colors that make you look bigger. Slim up by aiming for plain, dark tones.

Don’t be afraid to get off the trend track. What’s annoying is many are trying to fit into the fashion trend and they end up wearing the same types, colors and styles of clothes. When the trend can accommodate your body flaws, then, by all means, go ahead. But if not, don’t try too hard or you’ll end up looking ridiculous!

Watch your body.

Many women pig out when they are depressed. The thing is, the more you don’t eat healthy, the more you feel worse. A healthy diet can help you attain a great body and in effect, make you feel good about yourself.

Exercising is looking good. Toning those muscles up also makes you strong and helps fight stress.
Didn’t you notice that the only time you like to dress up is if you feel good about your body? If you are obese, you wear clothes to hide that flab all the more making you look miserable!
The gym is not the only place you can make all these happen. Getting busy and physical in some of your daily activities can help you attain a good figure without pedaling and getting on that treadmill. You can jog on your way to the office, take the stairs instead of the elevator, enjoy a weekend by having a regular dance party, and so on and so forth. Please, I don’t mind if you go crazy with your ideas!


Monday, January 19, 2009

happy birthday to me.. YAY!!

Its my birthday today.. and for my pressie im getting a lower back tattoo in an amazing beautiful design.. we had a wonderful night out on Saturday night with my sis and friends.. going out for dinner (scrumptuous Thai) followed by some ass shaking in a freaky city nightclub where the drinks flowed endlessly.. and had mini birthday cupcakes.. it was a great birthday to remember.. below is my online birthday cake I designed.. nothing too fancy but looks so yumm!!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

blessing of the holy waters

today was the blessing of the holy waters an annual religious event on the Greek Orthodox calendar and one which we attend every year.. this years event was spectacular as usual.. we arrived a lil late and didnt get to see the moment when the holy cross was tossed out to sea and a bunch of brave young guys dive in to retrieve it.. the eventual retrievee said to be blessed for the remainder of the year.. nevertheless.. we did get to dance the zorba.. picnic.. swim.. (the water was beautiful) and bake..

These videos below are of an amazing bouzouki player that I just had to video.. the way he played just drew the crowd in.. and towards the end when everyone was leaving I found a quiet moment to reflect and video what was around me.. I hope you enjoy..


Monday, January 5, 2009

say my name when you do that

have you noticed there are some couples that cant take their hands off each other?.. what is the driving force beneath that passion? is it being perfect? (you know tall, blonde, blue eyes, big tits? **sigh**) or is it from mastering the act of becoming more desireable? which do you think? Im guessing you prolly opted for the former right? OK well lets examine the selection you chose a lil closer..

beautiful girl, gorgeous in fact, prolly preoccupied with her outwardly perfection a great deal. Concerned with the slighest ingrown hair maybe and would he notice it? Is uptight and searching for signs that he thinks she is the most exquisite thing to walk the earth. She is focused on how she looks and whether or not he thinks shes hot! The sex ends up being less than mindblowing, and in the end both are left thinking huh? with the guy thinking the two didnt match (his visual and mental perception of her) and she "oh typical men, not appreciative of true beauty and just so selfish".. Ohhh my..

But truly peeps, is having a great sex life all about the physical? NOOOO definately not!! Its all about how you create DESIRE!!

You see girls, nothing turns a man on more than seeing his partner totally lose herself in her passion and pleasure. Forget the ingrowns! Focus on the desire! Youve prolly read those silly lil articles in some womans mag that suggest ways to turn your man on! YES?? I know I have. After reading those silly lists, what is usually the ONE thing that stood out? Apart from all the tips and tricks to keep things fresh and exciting? You know right? Yes, its talking dirty!

Lets examine the delish benefits of what talking dirty can do:

  • like i said, men like to see a woman totally lose herself in her pleasures. This tells a man she is not faking it, is genuinely turned on and knows what she wants. Which will show him new and exciting ways to please you

  • it increases communication. Some women find it hard to climax thru sex alone, so becoming verbal will be the "talk thru' to guide you. This is talking dirty at its more domesticated level.

  • one of the things men most fear is commitment. (where have I heard that one before?) and afraid that if he has to commit, he will be forced to give up his wild days of wild spontanieous sex. Talking dirty is a great way to show your guy that you enjoy sex, so he'll be less afraid to commit.

Ok these are just several of the feel good benefits, but heres the problem you know that its hot to talk filth, but noone has actually shown you how to do it. So where do you begin? and heaven forbid if youve tried it and ended up sounding and looking like you were being electricuted. LOL.. ooops!! fake fake fake..

Lets face it we are not mind readers, we want to know if what we are doing in the bedroom (or dungeon) is sexually pleasing our partner. Its an art and it starts with confidence and feeling good with ourselves and our comfort levels. Talking dirty can be learnt anywhere. On the phone, in letters or emails we write, texting, and one on one. If you are just starting out, writing down what turns you on is a good beginning. Then perhaps you can expand on that, use the imagination a lil to come up with better descriptive words that mean the same thing but just stirs the juices a bit more.

Talking dirty has its levels too as i mentioned. For beginners its always a good starting point to go with what your comfortable with. If youve always been more a teddy bear than a tiger its gonna seem a lil awkward to dive straight in and go for the no holds barred, not-for-the-faint-hearted kind of sexy talk. Think of it as a staircase. Start at the bottom. Sexy moans, body language, saying that you like what his doing, etc can be great in setting the mood and opening you up to try experimenting further. Progress to not-so-dirty talk would then be a lil easier once youve learnt to be verbal. Talk about what turns you on and what you would like him to do to you, this in turn relays that you are responsive and in control and it will drive him crazy!! fantasising and role playing are also both excellent scenarios to escape in and explore. From teacher/student to mistress/submissive, the opportunity to engage in hot words are plenty!

Then there is the top of the stairs. Not everyone is comfortable with heights, and this is the same for sex talk. However, im assuming its something your very interested in. No holds barred talking dirty involves being comfy with yourself and your partner, and if you decide this is for you then be prepared for some fireworks! I personally feel the best sex ive ever had has come from being confident and not afraid to show how turned on i am. Guys really go nuts when you are laying back, looking at them straight in the eyes, licking your lips and they hear something like "I'll be your dirty slut baby if you spank my norty butt hard" or "Feel my spasming clit baby do you like it when i cum for you?" saying these projects desire and control.. you come across as someone that knows what she wants and how to get it..

Being continually verbal can send your confidence soaring and make you even more desirable to your partner, throw your inhibitions out the window and make sex even more pleasureable and intense than ever. Couple that with sexy long lingering looks and youve mastered the art of becoming more sexually assertive and someone that is very desireable and hott!!

For the best tips on learning to talk dirty, I highly recommend this

The Ultimate Guide On How To Talk Dirty


Sunday, January 4, 2009

bondage fetish store

if your a beginner and just exploring your dark side a perfect place to start for all your bondage, fetish needs is the bondage fetish store where you will find everything from the mild to the torturous toys, medical gear, gags, hoods, corsets, footwear, shackles, cuffs, restraints, whips and paddles, leather, collars, electro and much more.. go for a leisurely browse

bondage fetish store


rubber dolls

i dont give a fuck.. do you really mean it?

the more one analyses people the more all reason for analysis disappears.. sooner or later one comes to that dreaded universal thing called human nature - Oscar Wilde

how many times have you said this and REALLY MEANT it?

im guessing not often.. even if we are really really pissed off.. given a chance to calm down we often regret what we said.. true?

we often say this in defence to our true feelings.. to mask the pain and hurt.. to counteract rejection... or for a number of other situations we find ourselves in.. we are not being honest with ourselves in the heat of the moment and prolly mouth a few other untruths along with it...
but what message does this send to your partner?.. well.. confusion and mixed messages.. they start to imagine the worst.. and perhaps think you dont care..

In Don Miguel's book "The Four Agreements" the first agreement is "be impecable with your word" in other words.. speak with sincerity.. say only what you mean..

Being impeccable also means being conscious of what you say and the motive behind it when your emo triggers are tested. Have you ever said something that you really didn't mean? As soon as it left your mouth, you wished you could take it back and destroy it?

Here are 3 tips to help you say what you mean and mean what you say:

- respite for thought. step back momentarity and think about your words, however this is done to make sure YOU are wanting to say what you mean, not what you want the other person to hear. Saying what you mean is important for keeping communication lines open and encouraging the flow of communication. We often say what the other person wants to hear for fear of hurting them or making out your something your not. This is not honesty!! Why should we think our words will hurt? This is only a reflection of what you think not the other person. So dont judge someones reactions based upon what yours are.

- keep to the point. Dont drag up events of last week, last year or even yesterday. Keep discussion to what the current topic is. Dont let things fester. deal with issues as they arise and then let them go. This will avoid the situation of exploding with frustration and spewing out last months garbage.

- watch your tone. You should speak to others as you wish them to speak to you, without sarcasm, hostility or arrogance. Speak up by all means but not so loud that you come across as being aggressive.Speak with authority and clarity and be direct. Your words will have meaning when you can be decisive and conclusive.

Remember, communication is not the same as just chatting or writing, effective communication can only occur when there is total understanding of everyone involved.

Men and women do speak different languages. Men tend to be more direct whereas women can be a little more subtle, leaving hints instead. So when she clams up and says "im not angry" it usually means she is. She may feel he should know how shes feeling without having to reveal the fact. This can be detrimental in figuring out what the other person really means. So what to do?
Well the most obvious thing is to sit them down and ASK them directly, keeping in mind the 3 points we just discussed. Ask open ended questions to encourage them to open up, and then finally ask what is the best thing for me to do to avoid this from happening again? This will lead to a better understanding of how to improve the situation.

If your message is anything other than simple and straightforward, break it down and try again. You may be surprised at how much more cooperative your partner is when he or she actually knows what you want.

The video below is The Killers "Smile Like You Mean It" which I think is very appropriate for the post.. do you smile like you mean it?

Saturday, January 3, 2009

what he needs to know about her

"Men are from Mars, women are from Venus" says a best selling book by John Gray and nothing says it best.

Although countless of books and articles have been devoted to understanding men and women, most of us still struggle through the steps of relating to the opposite sex.

It's not even rocket science. In fact, men and women social characteristics have been repeatedly defined with mighty simplicity but how come we are still at a loss towards perfecting our relationships? The dilemma lies in the plain existence of the differences between men and women... the same differences disallow them to mesh well.

How much do you know about women?.. I'd like to enumerate a few distinct "womanish" characteristics that men must understand and help relate better with her.

Here are a few intriguing high and lows about a woman:

She is sensitive and she appreciates a man who could lower his guard down for a moment... to her, that spells trust and sincerity.. tell her she looks good.. discover new ways to surprize her.. notice the little things she does.. avoid neing nasty.. theres nothing worst than hurting a womans feelings by being insensitive

She likes to cry. On the contrary, boys were taught not to.... crying for her means a cleansing of the soul, an expression of love, joy, anger and hurt. Sounds paradoxical, doesn't it? .. that's why men get confused over outbursts and hysteria.... the best thing for you to do is ask her what she really feels...

She is often indirect and because men are the opposite, this poses a major problem... men often catch themselves reading between the lines... and in certain situations, women really mean "Don't go" after shes told you to "Go away!"... If this happens, don't listen to the words you hear, look at her in the eye.... women can barely hide what's inside. She is instinctive. It's their nature... they sense danger before it's even there... they know you are fooling around when you are... admit it, when women feels all of a sudden insecure, she is so because she has sensed something... so, don't go away mumbling "What did I do to make her think like that?" because most often that not, its her intuitive nature that has picked it up.

She constantly needs assurance. I wouldn't call it insecurity.. make her happy by providing her constant approval and appreciation... women find joy in perfecting their relationships while men find it in the success of their career and performance.... once a woman feels inadequate about what she does and begins to question if she makes you content and satisfied, there's a woman in distress!

She really believes that actions speak louder than words. Your little cheesy ways mean a lot to her... a loving kiss tells her more than even you saying "I love you"... phoning her from work to ask her how she is lets her know you care about her and that you are happy with her being in your life... send her a rose on an ordinary day and she will be exhilarated... and the best thing about it is she'll pay you back tenfold!

She is all woman.. grrrr. It is in her ways, the way she talks or whispers, her laugh, her moves - all of these things you find irresistible.... she doesn't even have to do something extra.... It's just the way she is and the moment you stop noticing these simple things is a time of alarm for both of you! She likes to talk. It is expression that frees her from life's poison.... It is normal to hear women talking about things you care less about... but sharing her life with you means she is trusting you and making you a part of hers too.

She needs you to listen. Men can barely put up with this because they are not built to pause and absorb everything that happened in life.... but there are those who have developed a listening ear.... once in a while, I meet some of these men and I see how women are attracted to them just because of that.

Writing this aims to help men clear the confusion about dealing with women.... men could spend a hundred dates and still find to fully understand women difficult... whether we admit it or not, women are a puzzle, a complex being unfathomable despite the many first-hand researches devoted to them... It doesn't help to teach them to act more simply because she is simply unique.... she wouldnt be a woman without these qualities... It is also the same summation of these characteristics towards complexity that makes her an undeniably awesome species.. get to know her today !!

Friday, January 2, 2009

what is considered as cheating?

Hi everyone.. back again typing the fuck away.. LMFAO.. dont mind me.. im in a lil bit of a crazy mood tonight.. its pissing down outside.. and im in just the rite frame of mind to be babbling on.. anyways.. what i wanna talk about here is what do we consider cheating and what we dont..
To illustrate my point i wanna tell you about a real life situation that occured between me and my last bf.. we've been broken up now for almost... gee.. 7 years.. cant believe its been that long..and i hope you can relate to my story and i'll allow you to be the judge of the consequences..
anyways.. it was a Saturday morning.. and i was at work.. i was working as a doctors receptionist at the time.. and i got a phone call from him telling me not to freak out over the phone bill.. i said wot do you mean?.. and he started to tell me that his been norty and has been calling sex phone lines for a few weeks.. WHAT?? WTF do you mean youve been calling sex phone lines??.. i was really upset and felt so let down.. but i had to keep my concentration coz i had to deal with the patients.. and i couldnt allow myself to get into a state.. so i said i cant talk and i'll see him later.. omg.. my head was racing.. i felt sweaty .. my heartbeat increased.. and i had a burning desire to kick him in the balls so bad.. fuckin bastard.. i was fuming inside.. for the rest of the day i had visions of him.. calling and wanking to the girls he was speaking to.. and the more i thought about it the more crazier i was becoming.. i couldnt wait to get outta there and tear him apart..

my mind was playing me.. so much.. that i even turned my focus on me.. and started to feel that i was the cause of his diversions.. like he no longer liked me.. i turned him off.. i was no longer attractive enuff to him.. and a hundred and one other nasty self-destructive thoughts.. the more i thought of these the more upset and confused i was getting.. OMG the visions just wouldnt stop.. i was picturing the moment of orgasm and what he must be going tru his head during and after it.. did he feel any remorse?.. was he discusted with himself?.. did he enjoy it that much?.. what was he thinking when she made him cum? was he thinking of me or her?.. fuck he doesnt even know her .. so does that mean he would be willing to do it with just anyone?.. so freely??. fuck what was going thru that sikk fuckin head of his... ??.. i wanted to know.. and demanded to know.. by this time my visions and thoughts were driving me insane.. i couldnt think about anything but that.. damn him to hell i was saying to myself..

how the fuck dare he.. i mean.. HOW THE FUCK DARE HE.. if i was to stop and tell you about our sex life i would have to make this a xxx rated blog.. so i wont do that.. but what i will tell you is that we were both kinky and horny.. and i gave him EVERYTHING he wanted sexually.. so why he felt he needed to do this i couldnt understand..

now a few of you might say.. "But Its A Guy Thing".. but i disagree.. to me i felt that i had been cheated on.. maybe a lil drastic way to put it but yes thats how it made me feel.. even thou i can imagine what the girl must of been doing as shes making him horny.. prolly laying back smoking with her hair in rollers.. no make up.. pj's on.. slippers.. nuthing like the pic he must paint in his head of her.. but it wasnt about that.. it was about the fact he needed to get off on the words and vision of sumone else.. and wanking over it.. grrrrr the more these thoughts spun around my head the angrier i got..

finally after work that day.. i attempted to have a calm conversaton about everything.. but ended up yelling... he didnt say a word and only hung his head down in shame.. allowing me to feel i had penetrated whatever guilt he held and was right in wot i was saying.. he told me it had nuthing to do with me.. and that he was happy with our sex life and that he never cheated on me .. but he was curious to try it to see what it was like.. i wanted him to scream back and come out with the truth even if the moment was heated.. coz the truth has a habit of revealing itself in situations like that.. i mean look at how many times we've been engaged in a heated moment and said things we things we dont mean.. but hey.. why do they slip out?.. must be sum truth behind it.. like a pent up truth waiting to explode.. i grabbed the phone bill and discovered 23 fucking sex calls.. with the bill being close to $1000.. fuckin bastard.. how dare he have the nerve to say he was only trying it out?.. fuck.. it doesnt seem to me 23 times was just trying it out... it seemed to me that he was enjoying it so he continued..

he said he was sorry and it wouldnt happen again.. but i didnt believe him.. the only reason he confessed i told him was because i would be seeing the phone bill too when it arrived and he would of been caught out.. so he thought he would get to me first in the hope i would feel better that he confessed... but i didnt.. back and forth the screaming continued on my part... it was doing my head in and felt i needed to get out and think.. so i took off in my car and drove to my usual parking haunt to do it.. i was out for about ohh say an hour before i decided to come back home.. and instinct just told me.. i bet he is using the sex line again while i was out.. and just to confirm i was rite decided to park the car on the street a lil further away and "creep" into the house.. i found the back door unlocked so i crept in.. and tip toed to our bedroom.. he was in there with the door closed... so i pressed my ear against the door.. and i could hear him on the phone.. talking diry and god knows what else..

i stood there what seemed like ages.. and felt the sting of tears forming in my eyes.. i couldnt believe what was happening.. why does he need to go to these extremes to satisfy his lust and cost us hundreds in the process.. and on top of that be very sneaky about it.. all this was creating a whirlpool in my mind.. and i didnt know what the right thing to do was.. should i just go?.. or should i burst in and confront him?.. i tried to picture me doing both.. and which would be best.. but that only made the tears flow even more.. fuck him i thought.. his gonna get what he deserves rite here and now.. im not going to stand for my bf doing that behind my back everytime im away.. NO FUCKING WAY!! so i burst open the door..

I found him laying on OUR bed with the phone in his ear.. half naked and wanking his cock hard.. .. OMG.. OMG.. OMG.. just that scene playing in my head as i sprung him gave me the strongest urge to grab the nearest gun if i had one and shoot the bastard dead.. but i didnt have a gun so i grabbed the next best thing.. i ripped the phone straight outta the wall while she was still on the line and walked up and smashed it across his back.. it broke into tiny pieces.. shattering onto the floor.. i just stood there.. blinded by anger and rage with tears streaming .. saying what the fuck was he doing??.. comon cunt watcha gonna do?.. he got up still erect and whacked me back across my cheek.. which sent me reeling.. but fortunately didnt register.. i was that pent up with an uncontrollable fury.. i couldnt feel anything.. and which made me head for him again.. using my nails to scratch the fuck outta his face.. we ended up going at each other.. the more we fought the more i went at him and finally got the opportunity to kick him square in the nuts.. and he went down...

that didnt stop me.. i continued to kick him .. stomp on him.. and even spat on him.. telling him to never humiliate me again i took the phone in pieces and left to go to my gf's leaving him there doubled up in excruciating pain.... i needed to calm down and talk it over with sumone..

ok.. what do you think peeps?.. was my judgement harsh?.. do you think i had a valid argument?.. Is this considered cheating?.. would any of you consider it cheating??.. How would you react if you sprung your bf wanking openly?.. and found out it wasnt just once or twice but fuckin 23 times?... well i feel like it was cheating.. even thou no physical contact was made.. still its the INTENTION.. and the sneakiness and the secretiveness.. all makes up what i consider being made a fool of... ok for the guys here.. how would you feel if you sprung your gf talking dirty on the phone with another guy?.. esp if your sex life is just fantastic.. and she did it all behind your back and you found out?.. i dont think you would like it much.. am i rite?

that was then and this is now.. i dont have a bf now and ive had the opportunity to engage in a few erotic chats and cybers myself since.. and watch live cam shows.. and i have a lil more relaxed attitude.. and am a bit more understanding... however that scene i walked in on is forever etched in my mind and it still burns me.. and i feel if i ever caught my bf doing that again i wouldnt stand for it.. only because of my previous reaction and experience with it.. but i also have diverted blame away from myself.. you see girls.. its not about you.. it never is... he doesnt do it coz his dissatisfied or gone off you.. its just another outlet for his masturbation fantasies.. just like if he was to go into the bathroom in the mornings and have a wank before he takes off for work... so he doesnt have to wake you up... its his lil dirty secret and way to release his sexual perversions without going out to get it..

i often wondered if he kept doing it after our confrontation but now it doesnt bother me.. i have accepted it didnt have anything to do with me.. quite different at the time when afterwards i would take the phone with me if i was going out without him... i hated him for putting me in that position.. and it was a bit drastic but it was nessassary for my peace of mind...

the best way to handle it is talk it over and let him explain the reasons behind his actions.. and tell him also how it makes you feel... he should respect you enuff to make you feel at least a lil more at ease and trusting.. if he is honest.. its a lil difficult to know how to handle it.. esp when youve walked in on it.. maybe it would have been different if you didnt have to see it... but then again we all know what goes thru our minds when we find out stuff... we imagine the worst.. and its usually more inflamed.. imagining all sorts of things he would be doing seceretively.. and it only serves to eat at you and get you more upset and untrusting.. so let it go girls.. its not your problem..

is it reason enuff to split over?.. well thats sumthing you have to decide.. but also ask yourselves if you love the guy and is he worth it?.. and can you handle it?.. coz most prolly he would wanna keep doing it when your not there.. so would you be comfortable with that?.. if you answer no to all these then maybe its best to have a lil break with each other.. and see where things are in a few weeks.. its all up to you...

why do men shut down?

Men and women as we all know speak different languages. We women can be quite an emotional lot, whereas men do tend to keep things bottled up. Why are the reasons for this?

Well, I believe there are 3 main reasons

1) he is less emotional - while we women 'freak out' he might be analysing the situation to be of less importance and doesnt know what all the fuss is about. when he sees you pressing on, his instant reaction is to clam up and avoid you.

2) he wants to do his best to avoid conflict - and his natural reaction to this is run! he cant deal with the messy consequenses, and cant handle emotions like resentment, hate and feeling like his manhood will take a battering!

3) hurting his male pride - while we woman will never understand how cold a man can seem at times.. the way he sees it is he wants to avoid any negative blow to his manhood. we are designed to take the good and not so good.. but for a man.. that can mean a demorilizing blow and would rather block these vibes out.

For further reading on understanding men I highly recommend:

500 Secrets About men Every Woman Should Know

what men want


Thursday, January 1, 2009

setting relationship goals

In order for a relationship to be satisfying those involved in it must set clear goals for it. Most people go into relationships with a vague idea of what they want out of it. When pressed, they often are unable to specify their goals for the relationship in the long term.Goals can be stated or written, but they should be agreed upon by the partners at the beginning of the relationship.

Relationship goals sometimes are dictated by behavior. However, for a relationship to work, the goals stated should be only those on which both partners can agree.The relationship goal should be kept in a safe place and reviewed annually as our needs tend to change annually. During the annual review the goals can be modified, and the objectives to be achieved for the next year can be identified.Relationship goals should be long term, but they should be general enough to give the partners enough latitude to be satisfying and easy to achieve. Annual objectives based on these goals can be more specific and short term, motivating the partners to successfully achieving them within the year.

Relationship goals should be developed to cover key issues involved in the relationship, but they can cover any area of human behavior. In order to best know how and what goals need to be set, you have to ask yourself a variety of questions to get to know yourself and your partner.

It is a little quiz and it goes as follows:

Relationship Goal Setting Quiz
1. How can we best nurture our support for one another?
2. How will we communicate with one another on a daily basis?
3. How dependent will we be toward one another and is it healthy?
4. How can we give our mutual intimacy a boost in the relationship?
5. How long do we intend our relationship to last for example, do we want to getmarried?
6. How will we ensure that we respect each other's rights in this relationship?
7. How will we help one another "grow'' in this relationship?
8. How can we keep the fun in our relationship?
9. How will we include others in our relationship without losing our support forone another?
10. How should or will we approach problems in our relationship?
11. How will we solve problems?
12. How are we going to handle various differences of opinion?
13. How will we handle irritation with one another and is it worth the effort?
14. How are we going to handle fights and bring them to a healthy resolution?
15. At what point will we seek help for ourselves if our fighting gets out of hand orwill we even bother, for example will we seek counseling together?
16. Will we agree to disagree?17. How can we ensure mutual growth in this relationship?
18. How open are we to taking joint and individual responsibility for ourrelationship?
19. How can we ensure that our individuality doesn’t get lost in this relationship?
20. How open are we to being assertive in our relationship?
21. How can we use our unique, individual personalities to help each other and ourrelationship to grow?
22. What steps will we take if one or both of us begins to feel smothered by therelationship?
23. What steps are we willing to take if one or both of us has the need for mentalhealth assistance?
24. How are we going to promote each other's physical health and will we besupportive of each other?
25. What steps can we take to handle jealousy, a sense of competition, orresentment toward one another?
26. How are we going to make time to do all the things we want to do?
27. How are we going to arrange our schedules so that we can pursue our unique,individual interests and still spend quality time together?
28. How free are we to pursue our distinct interests and friends?
29. How committed are we to setting up long range relationship goals and shortrange objectives to reach those goals?
30. How committed are we to setting up times in which we can nourish one anotherand keep our relationship on track?
31. How can we structure ways to get the "required'' relationship maintenancetasks.
32. How can we delegate the maintenance tasks so that neither of us feels that weare doing too much?
33. What place will religion, hobbies, sports, and outside interests have in ourrelationship?
34. How important are those things to our relationship?
35. Can we nurture our differences?

I know that this sounds like a lot of questions, but seriously; if we are all realistic all of these questions matter. If you cannot honestly take this little quiz seriously; how can you expect to take the relationship seriously?

How to Score:

For every same answer give yourselves 1 point, and for every different answer, take 1 point away.If you and your partner score below 17, that doesn’t mean that you should break up, it just means that you both have to sit down and decide on your personal relationship goals together and form a compromise that you can both agree with.All relationships require compromise by both parties if it is going to succeed. You just need to re-evaluate what your goals are going to be. If you and your partner scored above 17, it simply means that you are on the right track and are likely looking to get the same things out of the relationship.

You will still have to compromise a bit (you are human) to keep the relationship going, but you are heading in the right direction.What you need to realize is that setting relationship goals is best when both parties are involved in the process. If only one is working for the betterment of the relationship, it is doomed to fail anyway because one partner will always feel overworked in the relationship.Setting relationship goals is no different that setting up any other type of goal.

The largest difference is that you generally have to set your goals with the other person involved.Setting relationship goals work for all types of relationships; be they friendships, family relationships, colleagues or partners. You can try to set the goals and work on them yourself, but it will be verydifficult and quite unsatisfying. That is why the key to setting relationship goals is to have the full co-operation and support of those whose relationships you would like to get the most out of.

Click Here To Grab Your FREE Copy Of Happily Ever After-A Guide To Relationship Happiness Part 1 On Audio For A Limited Time

first date conversations

You've found the object of your interest, made eye contact and you are making your way towards him. And while you are doing that, don't forget to BREATHE ! You've done the hard work - you've approached someone and not only talked to them but secured both their telephone number and a date to boot. So now comes the finale - the date itself.

A first date is always fraught with uncertainities you are worried about making a good first impression, wondering what he ll think of you, and what planet you are from. Dont sit and wait for the phone to ring if you want to go out, its not uncommon that uncertainty can follow even the best date, especially if you wanted to make a great impression. Dont worry so much about how you look is another dating tip for women who can agonize over their appearance, if you feel comfortable then it shows. No one is perfect and every woman who agonizes over the tiniest flaw in her own appearance, will usually notice it isnt even remotely visible to their date.

Women put a lot of thought into their first date outfit -- a lot. Heck, they probably even went out and bought a whole new ensemble for the occasion. Women always look into the eyes of men so guys try to let her see the inner you. Men are little boys that are shy at talking to women because they just don't understand them so they are really the ones that are nervous so ladies understand that you got to make them feel at ease. Women, however, are not as forgiving; only 42% would attempt a repeat date in the same situation.

First date conversations are like any other dating conversations really only you tend to put more pressure on yourself because you feel like there's more at stake if you don't make a good first impression. You need to know that conversation is a critical part of getting second dates. First date conversations don’t have to feel like the last leg of a 5K marathon though. All it takes to make a conversation flow is a little practice and a few decent starters.

A word of warning girls.. NEVER EVER talk about your last boyfriend, fiancee or husband on the first date. Talking about anything emotionally intimate, such as why you broke up with the ex, is fatal. This sort of topic can trigger unaddressed resentment which will be apparent to your date and distract from the enjoyment both of you should be experiencing. Men immediately think one of two things if you talk about your ex during a date.

1) Shes comparing ...
2) You have a bad track record.. ooops..

Don't be swept off your feet by the excitement of the moment. Taking things slowly will keep you safe from being hurt if the guy is not really what you expected him to be.

Here are some fun things you can talk about...Talk about how a super model is WAY too skinny, or how Ozzy has killed all his brain cells and what a shame it is that he's on TV broadcasting it to millions of viewers. Make fun of Mariah Carey for gaining weight, being put in the loony bin, and putting out a sucky movie. Talk about your likes, ambition, occupation, studies and home life on neutral ground. This will win you favor with your date and perhaps take the chat to the next level. Talking about the present is a great icebreaker for many reasons, not the least being you don't want to start raking up the past with someone you hardly know.

Talk about things he’s probably never heard of before. Make him feel like he’s never met anyone else like you. Talk about what is on TV, an interesting article you read in the paper, a new clothing store that opened at the mall, a new music video.. anything! You should be able to talk about random meaningless stuff for hours. Talk about whatever you’re comfortable with. If you’re really a KKK member, talk about your last clan meeting!!!! LOL...

Talking about where you would like to travel can be a great way to get to know someone, and since you are only limited by your imagination, it doesnt matter if youve never travelled out of state. Talk about your present jobs and how happy or discontented you are with your career. Along that line you can also talk about your past schools and funny experiences you might want to share.

Ask him what you want to know. Be aware of whether he asks questions or if hes tuned out and is staring at your chest. Ask about their hobbies, work and also about their journey to the date. Always throw in some comments or follow-up questions to keep the conversation moving forward.

Listen more than you talk. Women like to talk, usually more than men, so ask some questions and then listen. Listening actively is a combination of body language and responses to your partner's words that involves the listener in what the speaker is saying, without allowing the listener to take over the conversation. When you want your date to know that you are listening to him, use body language that shows that you are listening. Laughter, reactions, smiling, and recalling conversation are all signs you are into it!

Spending just twenty minutes brushing up on news and gossip can really make your conversation shine. Browse through a newspaper, cycle through your online news sources, or listen to the radio on your way home from work. Spending just twenty minutes brushing up on news and gossip can really make your conversation shine. Browse through a newspaper, cycle through your online news sources, or listen to the radio on your way home from work.

Asking the question, "If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?".can also be an excellent thermostat to measure a person's self-confidence and humility. It can be refreshing to hear someone note their flaws, and can put you at ease by reminding you again that no one is perfect.. be prepared for hours of fun as you discover things in him that you probably feel the same over..

Ask him questions and get him talking about himself until you find something that you both do and enjoy. The right mix of conversation on a first date can actually become the foundation to something more.

Noticing first date etitiquette is particulary important as well.. someone who is adverse to trying new things at the table may be adverse to trying new things in other places (the bedroom being only one of them). Someone who says they would love to go snorkeling off a boat might not be the same person who loves to tour the inside of museums. Ask what kinds of fun things they do and how they’d like to spend their time off. Expect the unexpected to happen. The weather may change anytime and your favorite restaurant may close for renovations. Expect to have fun on your first dates. Be positive, optimistic, and focused on having a good time, even if your date is not what you're looking for.

Remember, practice, practice, practice. You can practice these with friends, with work colleagues, with family. Remember, meeting a potential love interest for the first time should be a happy social occasion, a chance to begin getting to know someone, and to break the ice.

men are suckers for women who remember details…trust me. so have a good time and relax.

Read epifanatical's agony aunt column on DearCupid.ORG for relationship advice