Tuesday, November 15, 2011

why is it difficult for women to reach orgasm?

According to reports, roughly 70% of women don’t reach an orgasm during intercourse. Although that figure in itself is shocking, it also makes you wonder about how many women never orgasm at all (i.e., intercourse or not)!

A lot of flack fall on men on why women don’t experience an orgasm but truth be told, women have a lot to do about this as well whether they realize it or not.

6 Reasons Why Women DON’T Climax

Foreplay? What foreplay?

Foreplay is extremely important. For women, making love begins in the mind and if you don’t ‘condition’ her mind for sex, then chances are she won’t be sexually reciprocating in bed too. Furthermore, women really do need more time than men to reach an orgasm; so foreplay is actually your way of extending your own sexual stamina.

She’s thinking too much!

Women are natural multi-taskers. Unfortunately, they’re so used to thinking and doing several things at the same time that they find it hard to simply be ‘in the moment’ during sex. If most men can be very ‘in the zone’ during sex, women seem to have various thoughts running through their heads all the time (e.g., home chores that need to be done, kids’ homework, dirty laundry, etc.).

She’s full of… insecurities.

Women have many body image issues. While you may adore her, her mind is probably worried about at least three different things as you undress her: Is the light revealing any cellulite? Are my ‘love handles’ protruding? Does he think my breasts are too small/big?

If body image anxiety is not in her head, then she may be thinking about things such as “I didn’t shower yet, I hope I smell good… especially down there.”, or “I didn’t pee. I hope I don’t embarrass myself.”

ALL these thoughts are making her focus on the wrong things! It’s taking attention away from sexual pleasure and into sexual insecurities. And when a woman is in this mode, it’s almost impossible to her focus on reaching her own climax!

She really doesn’t know her own body.

There is a certain art form to making love to a woman’s body. It really does have a lot of mysterious curves, spots and turns. Sadly, many women don’t indulge in a lot of ‘self exploration’ when it comes to sex. As such, it’s hard to guide you on what makes her feel good or which techniques really turn her on. And really, if she doesn’t know her own body, how can you be expected to instinctively know what brings her pleasure, right?

The best thing is… it’s never too late to learn! Why don’t you BOTH explore her body? Don’t rush anything and try everything. See what turns her on best and use that knowledge to make her reach her orgasm. Make it your sexual quest!

here are some clues to save you a few steps… The Female Orgasm Revealed

You’re not paying attention!

True, men are not mind-readers. Unfortunately, many women are not great communicators in bed as well so we have a little problem here. Compounding this problem is of course that favorite female bedroom habit of ‘faking orgasms’. As a result, YOU think that what you’re doing is great when in reality you may not even be close!

To solve this particular problem, try to develop a certain ‘sexual code’ between you two. For instance, a slight squeeze on your arm means “You’re doing great! Pls. keep doing it!”; while nails on your skin or arm mean “enough of that!”. You will receive more squeezes, however, if you know some important facts.

Click here to learn more...The Female Orgasm Revealed

You’re changing ‘techniques’ too fast.

Men like to try different sexual positions and that’s great but sometimes you may be changing just a bit too fast. Women need to get accustomed to a certain ‘rhythm’ before sexual pleasure begins to climb. If you keep shifting positions, she will either (a) never find the position that brings her an orgasm, (b) lose the sexual pleasure she was experiencing in the previous position or (c) be so frustrated that even if you go back to the same position, she may not be that sexually aroused again.

So keep this in mind: when it comes to female orgasm it’s not just location, location, location… it’s also about repetition, repetition, repetition.

Hopefully this list of potential reasons why your partner is not reaching an orgasm paves the way for discussion between the two of you. Don’t focus on why she’s not reaching an orgasm. Instead, focus on what you guys are going to do, so that she does reach her climax. That’s a more positive approach and lot more fun too!

Learn creative and easy ways to do it here…The Female Orgasm Revealed




Saturday, November 12, 2011

do you resent the feeling of needing someone?

We all have our love formulas or expectations when finding and then meeting a partner, you know, that built in formula that has been both programmed and learnt and is hard-coded into our subconscious which is totally subjective and possibly fallacious.

Are you the needy type? do you constantly need reassurance? do you depend on others for your happiness? do you wonder where this comes from? today I will be discussing the topic of emotional dependance and understanding why we act like we do.

When we fall in love, our 'love formulas' are complete little packages that contain all the emotional behaviours and expressions that make up what we interpret as love. We are programmed to see love in a very distinct way. That, I believe is based on the programmed conception of reward and previous learnt emotional experiences. Together, we interpret these as our language of love.

Part of our love formula is the set of paradigms present in order to fall in love. This comes from our expectations of what is attractive to us, like appearance, qualities and values, and with each relationship we are involved in, a new set of 'paradigms' is created, based on the good and bad characteristics and what we want and do not want to repeat. This determines who we are drawn to, the brain starts generating the feel good endorphins and we fall in love.

Another aspect of our love formula is the set of paradigms present in order to feel loved and accepted. We crave love and others to make us happy. This I believe stems from equating love from the basis of the conception and outcome of reward. We were programmed to think reward comes from good behaviour, so as children, we try very hard to please our parents, and we develop expectations to be rewarded for that behavior, which is then construed as love. We are likely to continue this address with a partner in the hope of obtaining a similar reward.

However, everyone interprets love differently! Everyones love formula for the desire to feel loved is totally subjective. Your definative expression of love could be interpreted differently by another. Men and women are programmed in different ways when it comes to what they think is showing love. Women tend to have more emotional needs and men more practical. If these actions are not part of and programmed in our love formula then this can be rejected and lead us to think our partner doesnt care for us. To be emotionally dependant or needy and craving acceptance can be dangerous.

.. and so the plot thickens.. this creates the feeling of resentment, when we place ourselves in a position where what we think we should be rewarded with love, and are disappointed when it isnt. To be 'needy' is a sign that you havent emotionally developed substantially to be able to share a healthy relationship with another.

We all are responsible for our own happiness and feelings of love and contentment. What our partners do or dont do can reinforce the way we interpret any feelings of love and happiness, but ultimately, it is up to each and everyone of us to create our own. Noone can give us that, and noone likes a needy partner.

Love and admire someone for their qualities, the things you share, the company, and not because you are seeking emotional dependance. Every action you do to make yourself self-appreciative is worthy of repeating every chance you get. Does working out make you feel invigorated and alive? Then take up some form of exercise you love and continue. Do you love giving back? Then reap in the joys of joining and supporting your fave organisation. Do you have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge? Then take up new studies or hobbies. The point here is do more of the stuff that makes you shine. Develop your own person and love everything you do! This is, of course, contagious and will rub off into other areas of your relationships. I wish you all the love and happiness in the world. Go for it. You deserve it!!

For further insight into undertanding the concept of the language of love, I highly recommend The Secret Language of Love. It captures beautifully the joy and pain, and the many emotions you will identify with and observed from falling into the romance of love. It comes with delightfully presented and culturally diverse, poems, excerpts and beautiful art.

Friday, November 11, 2011

lick by lick cunniligus book review

Lick by Lick Cunnilingus Book Review

Did you know that for most women, cunnilingus (oral sex) is their preferred sexual act? But with over 6,000 nerve endings in the clitoris, you need to know exactly what you're doing before poking your tongue around there, otherwise it could be really painful and, even worse, spoil the mood! So does Michael's Lick-by-Lick book make the cut? Let's find out…

To be honest, at first glance I thought that a book about going down on women was silly! I mean, you just lick it and keep doing the ABC's until climax, right? I constantly found myself skipping to the techniques section before quickly slapping myself in an attempt to read it properly BUT…

After reading the guide for a few minutes, I realized how clueless I was about women and oral sex. And considering many studies mention that an estimated 50% of women fake orgasms, how would you ever know you're doing it right?

After flicking through a few pages, I am now a believer and was pleasantly surprised by the in-depth detail woven into this book. It covered getting a woman comfortable with the act, persuasive suggestions to make her shave, safety precautions, positions, and yes, many basic and advanced techniques!
So after reading it, I've learned to appreciate some very important details and why men often can't please their girlfriends and wives. The talk about romance, being relaxed and having a stress-free environment really hit home for me and made a lot of sense! (All things alot of guys tend to skip most of the time.)

All in all, Lick by Lick gives any guy the complete knowledge he needs to make any woman reach the big O. Two thumbs up from me!

>>>> For more information, visit: Lick By Lick