Saturday, May 12, 2012

Re-Working Your Break-Up

When you are faced with problems in your relationship, it would be easy to walk away and let it fail, while it is harder to stay and work it through. When you are faced with these issues, to keep it in perspective, think of the way you felt when you first met and the reason you fell in love. Remember the good and the bad times you shared, and what makes it worth it.

You know that it takes two to tango, and this applies to your relationship as well. An effort from only one party is not going to prove to be successful.

Many relationships fail for a number of reasons here are a few of the common ones:

· High expectations generally happen when entering a relationship viewing everything through rose-colored glasses/spectacles. When these expectations are not met disappointment and frustration soon follow.

· Financial issues are not taboo between couples. A household budget should be discussed early so you know what is expected of you. It is important to speak up about money issues when they first arise, and not scream about it when you both are angry.

· Manage your stress. Recognize what stresses you both out and do whatever you can to not fall prey. Too much stress can hamper one’s ability to think and respond properly.

· Compromise and do things as a couple. Go to a football match with him and take her shopping, or go on holiday together. Don’t be afraid to speak up and tell your significant other what you want and need. No offence to you guys, but you don’t take hints well, so learn to LISTEN, not just hear! Part of listening also involves not get defensive when she speaks to you, be genuine, compassionate, understanding and sincere.

· Spice up your relationship and go out and have a night on the town together. Bring home flowers and chocolates for no particular reason. Apologize if you have done something to upset her, and surprise her with something that she’s been wanting but do it for “no reason whatsoever” not because it’s her birthday or Valentine’s day.

Both of you have to be willing to make this relationship work. Don’t scream, argue and curse, rather sit down, call a meeting and be reasonable and logical about it. Try not to get too emotional, speak calmly when you say what you have to say.

There are an abundance of tips that can save your relationship, but like with all advice, it may not work in all situations. An understanding of your partner and what your relationship requires can provide you with what you need.

About The Author:
Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the founder of "Getting Her Back... for Good" and has taught 1000s of men all over the world how to recover their lost love. He details his steps and valuable advice at Getting Her Back.

Got dumped but want her back? what's the best way to get your ex back?

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Looking Into The Mirror Of Your Relationship

Everyone, sometime in their life has been disappointed in love. Breaking up is hard to go through, especially if you are not ready for it. If, after a breakup, you realize you still want your ex back, you need to be proactive about it. In order to do so, you need to reflect back on your relationship and try and understand where it went wrong.

Generally speaking, most relationships follow a predictable pattern. There is the honeymoon period where you first meet someone and everything is wonderful and new. They can do no wrong and you can do no wrong in their eyes. The sex is fantastic, the chemistry electric but after while, this starts to feel more comfortable rather than exciting. You start to adjust to one another, make compromises, and at this point, the relationship changes again. I call this the “establishment” period. At this point, cohabitation often occurs, a little “nesting” starts to rear its head and “she” and “he” become “we”.

A little further down the line comes the “disenchantment” stage where suddenly the little quirks that amused you and you were willing to overlook now start to bother you and in fact, often become the “bone of contention” as a means to “pick a fight”. This is the true test of a relationship and it is this particular phase of the relationship that you need to reflect upon. If you believe you can save your relationship after this deep reflection then you need to do the following:

1. Apologize!

So many “fools of love” out there say, “treat em mean, keeps em keen” and they are so far off the beaten track that they will never find their way on the path to true love. It takes strength of character and great sacrifice to apologize particularly if you do not believe you were in the wrong. However, sometimes it really is worth “losing a battle to win a war”. Once you have taken this first step, the rest is not that difficult to follow. Remember, it takes two people to have a successful relationship and knowing exactly what to apologize for is crucial.

2. Talking things through, face to face

Invite your ex to meet you at a time and place convenient for you both where you can sit down and talk. The idea is to be quietly assertive, not forceful, but intent enough to get her to agree to meet you face to face. You both need to chat about the issues objectively, without blame and maturely. If necessary, suggest couple counseling with a therapist so she can see that you are serious in your quest.

3. Give her some time and space – don’t pressurize her

This is probably one of the hardest things to do but by allowing your ex space not only gives her a chance to calm down and reflect, but also to miss you and it is true that as time passes, one only remembers the good times. By allowing a little time to pass, takes the heat of the anger out of the equation and emotions to settle into places of calm. This can only work in your favor.

4. Treat her like a lady

This doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to take her on a triple Treat of Champagne Breakfast, Balloon and Boat Ride but it does mean you need to do things differently! She is the most important person on earth to you; show her this in your actions, not only in your words!

About The Author:
Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the founder of "Getting Her Back... for Good" and has taught 1000s of men all over the world how to recover their lost love. He details his steps and valuable advice at Getting Her Back

Does wanting her back seem hopeless? What is the best way to get her back?

Friday, May 4, 2012

Re-Invent Yourself

You’ve broken up with your ex and are either single or with someone new but you know you jumped back into the dating pool too soon. You realize this was a rebound knee-jerk reaction and what’s worse, you can’t get your ex out of your mind. You want her back and you want her back for good! Stick around because not only will I tell you how you can get her back, but how you can improve on your own life and self-image at the same time.

We all know men and women are wired differently – “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus right?”. But what if you could rewire yourself, both physically as well as emotionally! You can and whilst you may not wake up tomorrow a totally new person both physically and emotionally (believe me it doesn’t even happen overnight on those reality television shows), the first step in reinventing yourself to win her back is to START living the life you want to live and being the person you and SHE want you to be.

It can’t be that difficult or too far a reach or disconnect or else she wouldn’t have dated you in the first place right? We are all primed from early childhood, allocated labels, “athletic”, “academic”, “artistic” etc but often these labels are self-fulfilling prophecies that create our identity as opposed to shaping our identity.

Despite the fact that your breakup with your ex might have been the catalyst for your desire to change, self-actualization, or becoming who you need to be is part of life’s evolution. With evolution, your needs change, you acquire wisdom and experience and now you have reached a stage where you need to try something different. You may want to explore a new career, move to a different location, explore other activities and behaviors. In fact, this could also be the reason your relationship with your ex back-fired. Neither of you were getting what you needed. Perhaps she felt unappreciated or bored, and perhaps you found excuses to be away from home. However, the breakup between the two of you is treating the symptom, not the cause.

Take the next couple of days to make a list of all the positive and negative factors in your relationship but at the same time, look after yourself by eating healthily, exercising and getting enough sleep. This time apart allows you to reassess your life, and your possible life together with your ex, objectively. By the time you meet up with your ex she will already begin to see the ‘new emerging you’; and might possibly be inspired to join you. Whatever the situation, it is important to remember that you’re not stuck with who you were in the past. We often feel like who or what we aspire to be has to "make sense." But we're always growing, and taking a leap into a new life is exciting and even better with your ex by your side. It starts off as small steps and it was Confucius who said: “A journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step,” and so to reinvent yourself and your relationship, it’s often the little things that are the first step.

About The Author:
Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the founder of "Getting Her Back... for Good" and has taught 1000s of men all over the world how to recover their lost love. He details his steps and valuable advice at Getting Her Back